Peace On That

I’m sure many of you start you morning off thinking, ‘What is James writing about today?”. Well, to be very honest with you, I have a lot of help coming up with the post for this blog. In fact, I have a full staff that meets every morning and debates the myriad of topics available to post about. Once we’ve bantered back and forth, a topic is chosen and the person in charge of that topic category writes the post.

Today, I want to give you the rare opportunity to experience a staff meeting. I briefly introduced them to you in this post. But I think it’s time that I formally introduce them to you.

The Staff

Jimmy "Book Worm"	Jimmy "Grudge"	Jimmy "West Side"
Jimmy "Schizo"	Jimmy "Cut Throat"	Jimmy "Top Hat"

Let’s look in on the meeting already in progress...


Jimmy “Top Hat”: Look, we need to come up with a post for today. “Book Worm” did a great job on the post about Free Will, and I think we could probably add to that one.

Jimmy “Book Worm”: Thank you “Top Hat”. I really put a lot of effort into that post and I think I was able to add something to the discourse in such a way that…

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: Man, shut the hell up. Don’t nobody want to read that crap two days in a row. Why don’t we do another post about white women?

Jimmy “Top Hat”: Already done and you offended some folks with that post. “West Side”, you have any ideas?

Jimmy “West Side”: Let’s write another post about me whoopin’ some ass.

Jimmy “Book Worm”: Really now. Must we perpetuate the stereotype of gangsterism in black men?

Jimmy “West Side”: Why don’t I perpetuate my foot up yo…

Jimmy “Top Hat”: Ok… ok. Let’s settle down folks. Why don’t we table this and move on to the next item on the agenda.

Jimmy “Schizo”: What we need to talk about why is it that I don’t get to write as much anymore. I’m the one that made us famous. I’m the one that got traffic to the blog. The Cuss Out Kit, Kill My Kitties… that was me, you sorry bastards. And why the hell y’all got me tied up like I’m crazy?

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: Fool, cuz you crazy.

Jimmy “Schizo”: I’m not crazy.

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: Those who think “Schizo” is out of his damn mind, raise your hands.

(Everyone raises their hands)

Jimmy “Schizo”: All y’all can go to hell.

Jimmy “Grudge”: You’d all be welcomed.

Jimmy “West Side”:(Whispering to “Book Worm”) Hey, I know how we all got here. But what tragic episode did we endure to create him? (points towards “Grudge”)

Jimmy “Book Worm”: Oh, we got him after the 2000 election.

Jimmy “West Side”: What happened?

Jimmy “Book Worm”: George Bush was elected president. And death has been at our door ever since. But as soon as the counter on the side of the blog hits zero, he'll be gone.

Jimmy “Top Hat”: Um… “Grudge”, would you like to add anything else to the discussion.

Jimmy “Grudge”: Bush is a spawn of the devil.

Jimmy “Top Hat”: Well… um… I see… Moving on…

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: Hell to the naw we’re not moving on. Man, we work hard to create this blog but this bastard (looks at “Grudge”) sits hear in this tired outfit and don’t do a damn thing except say “Bush is a spawn of the devil”. That’s some bull.

(Grudge stares and Cut Throat with hollowed eyes, not saying a word. Schizo leans to whisper in Cut Throat’s ear.)

Jimmy “Schizo”: Looks like I’m not the only one that needs a straitjacket.

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: Yeah, I think I’m just going to leave him the hell alone.

Jimmy “Top Hat”: Hey! It looks like James is reaching for the toilet paper. This meeting is almost adjourned. We need a topic folks.

Jimmy “Book Worm”: Well, LMC did challenge us to present our plan for fighting terrorism. I say we do that.

Jimmy “West Side”: No, you do that. I’m all for getting gully on ah mofo and let me bust out one of my retrospect rap post.

Jimmy “Schizo”: Cats… let’s blog about cats. I want to kill the kittie part two.

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: Shut the hell up, Schizo. And "West Side", you still saying that rap from 1987. Come up with some new material, dawg. Don't nobody want to hear that ole Whoodini crap.

Jimmy “Top Hat”: Well, since no one came up with a topic, we’ll have to go without a post today. Oh… James has the toilet paper wrapped around his hands. That means this meeting has come to an end. Tomorrow is Friday, so maybe we can do a Friday Top Ten post.

Jimmy “Book Worm”: Well, I’m going over to Chatter’s blog to comment.

Jimmy “Cut Throat”: You do that. Hey, somebody remind James that he has on white draws today. He needs to do some courtesy wipes. Nasty bastard.

Well, it's obvious that my staff meetings are not always productive. Hopefully, tomorrow they will do better and I can come up with a good post for you guys to enjoy.