Righties: 4 Reasons to Laud My Presence

I enjoy right wing blogs at times. My favorites are Chatterbox Chronicles and Revka’s Take. They are always gracious host and I make it a point to not to personally insult them or trash their views but keep it real in a civil manner. But some righties are down right rude and will ban those of us on the left just as fast as they trackback to our blog and note our Progressive ways.

But I need to express to you righties that this is the wrong approach when it comes to me. I am probably the best thing that will ever happen to your blog. And today I present to you a list of reasons why you should proclaim me your king and feel honored with the title of loyal subject.

THE KING WILL NOW SPEAK!!!


1. Mini-Me’s are only cool in the movies: Righties, do you not get tired of reading the post that mimic and celebrate everything you just wrote? Are you that narcissistic to want 30 comments telling you of your wise ways? When you write I love Bush, doesn’t it bore you to read: Me too. Me too. Me too. Ditto. Me Too. I’m with you on that. Me too. Me too. Just writing it bores the hell out of me. So it is with great pleasure that I add color commentary to your bland and insignificant post. Face it, what would you rather read? Verbal puke like “Me to” or wallow in evidence of a rhetorical genius that birth the sentence:“Cheney is an evil, blood sucking terrorist and Bush is a spawn of the devil and should be castrated and tossed into the Black Sea.”

2. There are more of us that you think: Somehow, you righties have it in your mind that you are the majority of the population. You’ve gotten that idea from the deadbeats that run the media. The reinforce your thinking by showing this map of the 2004 election:



But let me help you out a little. The following map shows a breakdown of the vote county by county of the 2004 election:



Ahhhhh… you see. There are more of us than you think. So just get use to it and enjoy our presence. It’ll go a long way in helping you lower your blood pressure. Besides, since you have to deal with lefties, you might as pick one with talent, intelligence and a sense of humor that far exceeds your own.

3. I’m happy and funny and you listen to Rush: Face it, a lot of you righties are some very angry and listen to bitter bastards like Rush and Sean Hannity (Am I the only one concerned about his eyebrows?). I, on the other hand, am very happy and living large and you would be wise of you to bask in my glory for the few seconds I allow myself to venture into your dark and tortured world. You, rightie bitter bastard - alien ditto-head and the rest of your minion, are in need of lefties like me to show you that there is more to the world than loving Bush and cringing at the first glance of sunlight. C’mon, no right-winger could have brought you the Cuss Out Kit or the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video. And you can’t tell me that coining the phrase “Murderous Republicana Reich” was not brilliant. Again, there are some unhappy leftie moonbats in the world but why not embrace one that is not on meths and spends his weekends protesting WTO meetings. After all, haven't you spent enough time listing to a square head, squinty eyed, dustmop eyebrow having, narcissistc, right wing wack job?

4. It’s not cool to be surrounded by sociopaths: You have to admit that most of your commentors are pretty sick individuals. After all, they voted for a nut like George Bush - twice. That should be very disturbing to you. But my presence on your blog brings a sense of enlightenment to your world. Consider yourself King Henry VIII (it should be a natural progression for you to consider yourself a murderous tyrant – you voted for one for heaven’s sake HAHAHAHA... "where does he get it from!!!?") and I’m John Locke. So while you chop off the heads of every leftie that ventures before you because you obviously have some male size issues going on. I come along, holding the family jewels with reckless abandonment, spewing my leftist philosophy with pinpoint accuracy and leave you to collect the residuals of verbal drippings. What joy that must be for you.

So there you have, righties. Four excellent reasons for you not only accept my presence on your blog, but praise it. Honor me with every thread of your miserable existence and I will bring forth a joy so bountiful you will forget the fact that your fellowship with Pat Robertson has fortified your place in hell for all eternity.

Besides even with the Murderous Republicana Reich controlling every level of government and this punk and this punk posing as musical talents, spewing radioactive vomit over the airways, I’m still happier than most of you bitter bastards. And that alone is a good enough reason to exalt my presence on your blog.


Peace On That

 

37 Responses to Righties: 4 Reasons to Laud My Presence

  1. Jaimie Says:
    That's so good Jimmy. You're so funny.

    You are the King. Ditto.
  2. nikki Says:
    me, too!
  3. bold as love Says:
    James,
    You smoking that shit again-ain't you. lol - Good post as usual
    Later'
  4. Cynthia Says:
    Hail to the King (lol). King James, this is a masterpiece...
  5. Little Miss Chatterbox Says:
    Has anyone ever told you you're crazy? I say that in a nice way ofcourse :-). Although I guess there is a thin line between crazy and funny.

    I definitely want different views and discussion. To be honest a lot of the bloggers I interact with aren't straight righties like myself. There are a lot of libertarians and we all have different takes on different issues. It is a myth that just because you are a conservative or a liberal for that matter that you will all be cookie cutters of each other.

    That said I have to listen to liberal drivel on the MSM, most major newspapers, most TV shows and movies, etc... I'm not really interested in a bunch of the same junk on my blog. Different opinions--yes; hateful, liberal tripe--no!!

    Also, I have huge issues with people saying that Rush and Sean are angry and bitter. If you take the time to listen to them they are both very optimistic and humorous. In fact Rush is a huge reason I am encouraged to follow my dreams. He constantly encourages people that America is where you can pursue your dreams no matter what they are and don't let the gloom and doomers disuade you. I always thought it was a myth that liberals thought Talk Radio was hate radio until I heard Michael Savage. If you want to say someone is bitter and angry it would be him but don't transfer that to people like Sean and Rush about whom it isn't true.

    All that said you are of a different breed. You bring humor into everything and you are always very careful to bait a little but not get hateful and trash too much. And for that I'm appreciative and I have tried to do the same.
  6. stuffle Says:
    Of course, the righties have no corner on the "being a bitter, insane ditto-head" market. Just go hang out on the DU for a while, and you'll see a boat load of angy, insane, ditto-head lefties whose thought processes are limited to just one line quips... :)
  7. MEP Says:
    BTW, I love the map that you posted with red vs. blue broken down by county. Where did you find that?
  8. James Manning Says:
    Thanks for commenting folks...

    Bold, glad to see you're back in the blogosphere.

    Miss Chatter, gracious as always. I don't put you in the bitter crowd - although I question your love for Hannity - buy hey, I think the Bears are going to the Super Bowl so what that say about my sanity.

    Stuffle, you are correct and I'm going to make a post on those crazy bastards real soon.

    MEP, I found it here: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mejn/election
  9. Johnnie Says:
    But James, by their nature (I presume) aren't most blog comments simply pats on the back by sycophant visitors, anyway? That behavior is rampant. No offense, but look at the vast majority of responses to this post, even (as Nikki so furtively points out with her comment).

    And aren't you (ill-advisedly) venturing into inane DDOT territory with the whole King bit?
  10. James Manning Says:
    Ah Johnnie, irony is a wonderful thing isn't it? And no, I'm not doing the king bit - I just thought it would add to that arrogant tone of the post.

    But I think what is different is that there are several people that take me to task on my post.

    And I did find Nikki's post rather insightful which makes it all the more better.
  11. Drew Says:
    I think that the difference between progressive and conservatives is that progressives usually openly accept opposing viewpoints on their blog. Some of us actually encourage it. Conservatives, not so much. They are more apt to ban you or delete your posts rather than put forth a valid counterpoint. They also generally do not cross over into liberal land, choosing more often than not to remain in their huddled masses, shunning anything that may shatter their fragile misguided view of reality.

    You should check out the Conservative Constitution - The Right Wing Blogger's Manifesto.
  12. Shavonne Says:
    Your blog is definitely one of my favorites because you are a master at the written word. Along with Nikki.
  13. Shavonne Says:
    I must be wearing my blonde wig. I meant to post the above comment in your previous post. Dangee.
  14. Anonymous Says:
    What I don’t understand is why as Black People we always have to be on the left? Don’t get me wrong Rush and Hannity are both idiots and proof that white skin privilege can make a loser famous and rich. But the same jerks are on the left. Do you really believe Bill or Hillary Clinton gives a shit about Black Folks? If you think people on the left care about Black folks you are asleep at the wheel. Like Tony Brown said he doesn’t know what White America owes us, but he is pretty sure they are not going to pay. So it is up to us take care of ourselves! Pick up one of Dr. Claude Anderson’s books.
  15. james manning Says:
    Anony,

    I make no argument as to what side of the aisle black folks should reside. That is an individual choice. I'm on the left and it has nothing to do with white folks but has everything to do with my social/political philosophy. Check my post under the "Chronicles of Bush Bashing" entitled "The Progressive Mind" - there are three parts.

    And I agree, black folks have to take care of themselves but we live in a society that revolves around the government - and we have to take them to task. But your point is well taken. Thanks.

    Thanks Shavonne. How is that novel coming along?
  16. Little Miss Chatterbox Says:
    I linked to you on my 24 post!
  17. jan brauner Says:
    Hey James;

    You are one leftie that lights up my world. I love it that Jaimie thinks you are as funny as I do.I bet you rock as a teacher!

    What the heck is wrong with the rest of the world and what usurped their humor DNA?

    But you still need to get a bead on conservatives,cuz we are rockin' too. You've just been readin' too much Maureen Dowd "sh&*" and gotten the wrong impression of most of us.
  18. Rose Says:
    That was so much fun to read...tell them like it tis!
  19. kerri Says:
    james,

    i really enjoy your insight into things. politics especially. the humor that you can build into it makes yours an easily enjoyable blog... :)
  20. Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden Says:
    01 14 06

    Whoa James. Ha ha h ah aha ha ha ha! I don't think of myself as really conservative cuz I sure enough can't stand the Rush, Coulter, O'Reilly crew. Sometimes they say funny things, but for the most part they are more protectionists and jingoists, which doesn't translate into being free trade libertarian types (which I like). Now I am going to take you to task for calling the CATO Institute people lunatics and since you will critisize the lunatic DUers, perhaps you can critique them too. I am a total fan of theirs, but like your opinions:) Have a good day!
  21. The Kingdom's Prince Says:
    I find most Talk-Radio and Television “commentary” very troubling. I suppose that’s why this post touched me. It’s not because they all seem to lean to the right, it’s really because of Talk-Radio’s feel-good nature.

    I’ve found, through multiple and lengthy conversations, that most of the people that listen to “Feel-Good” Radio, do so because they already share the host’s opinions. They listen because they lack either the education, perspective or thought to effectively express their opinion. So they listen to some guy (or gal) on the radio, or television, who gives them little snippets of information to bolster their preconceived perspective of the world.

    What’s troubling is that people are getting their “news” from these sources. People like: Hanity, Ingram, Limbaugh, Savage, Coulter, O’Rielly and others, ALSO get the vast majority their “news” from the so-called “Main Stream Media.” They often quote sources such as the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, L.A. Times, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, CNN, MSNBC, the Associated Press and others, as sources of authority when they need to bolster an argument, but then denigrate the same sources when it suits them. They do no real investigative research or analysis; they merely piece together lopsided commentary from information that seems to already fall in their camp of political thought.

    If any of these Feel-Good personalities were actual news sources, they would be in the field gathering information. But they don’t, because that would make them accountable for the “opinions” they are passing off as news; as they have it now, they can always hide behind the ol’ “that’s just my opinion” line, even though they are well-aware that people are relying on them as if they were actual news sources.

    Although, I will qualify what I’m saying by pointing out that whenever there is a tabloid issue like that girl missing in Aruba, the Television Feel-Gooders are first on the scene to ask people: “So… how do you feel?” And of course, there’s no real information, just wild speculation which they know they won’t be held to. For instance, when that woman in Florida (who was obviously Brain-dead) was about to be taken off life-support (a feeding tube is life-support for those who don’t know), Hanity allowed all kinds of irresponsible non-sense on his show; even allowing people to claim that her husband had abused her, or possibly had a hand in her accident. There was and is absolutely NO evidence to support that.

    I guess it’s pretty shocking that people don’t see this. What’s more shocking is that people out there are actually buying into this fantasy that Feel-Good Radio and Fox News are somehow outside of the “Mainstream Media.” Who in their right mind doesn’t understand the both Radio and Television are MAINSTREAM MEDIUMS of broadcasting information; both mediums reach MILLIONS of listeners/views.

    Finally, and to be fair, the Wall Street Journal is an actual source of news worth reading, regardless of your political leaning.

    Sorry for such a long comment, I suppose I just wanted to add this as #5 for your list because I enjoyed the post.
  22. James Manning Says:
    well prince, you put it out there real clear. thanks for posting. i agree with everything you said.
  23. Anonymous Says:
    James,
    Thanks for replying to my comment. But I have to disagree with you about we live in a society that revolves around the government. We have to take the government to task of course because we pay the bills with our taxes. I am conservative on some issues and liberal on others. I didn’t vote for Bush. In my opinion the left and the right both have it wrong We as Black Folks have got to take the bull by the horns and control our own destiny! The funny thing is I know some very conservative and liberal businessmen that make money regardless of who is in the white house or controlling congress or the senate. Black folks have got to learn how to play that game and don’t believe the hype as PE put it. The other day I was talking with a very right wing businessman that was laughing about all the money he made under Carter.
  24. James Manning Says:
    Anony,

    thanks for your comment and you have inspired my next post. I hope you return and comment on it. You make some valid points and I am going to tackle them in the next post. Hopefully, you'll come from behind the screen and leave your name and blog - that is, if you are a fellow blogger - I'd like to reference your blog because you make good arguments.
  25. Anonymous Says:
    James,
    Thanks for replying. No I am not a blogger just a face in the crowd. I find your blog funny and interesting. I will look and make a comment on your next post and thanks for having a great blog.
  26. Revka Says:
    James,
    I do love your sense of humor even though i disagree with almost everything you said. Interesting.. this is a wierd cyber-friendship i must say! :-) Most conservatives wouldn't take the time to post on a blog that calls Bush the spawn of the Devil.
    There is one thing you said that I may agree with is that you are the king of the left in my opinion. You are the example they should follow if they want to have a civil debate with 'righties'.

    Adrianne is another blogger on the left I enjoy conversing with. We are really the opposite on everything, except for maybe 5% of the time. But, I just like her.. Don't know why, just do.

    So.. I have made a pretty big decision.. and you can pat yourself on the back. I am going to link you on my 'top notch' blogroll.. ooooh.. a rightie is linking you.. You have arrived..:-)
    Of course, you will be placed under .. Lefties... I don't know.. i don't have a section for the left. Look at what you did!!
  27. Cynthia Says:
    I just heard that there are no blue states, just blue cities. It's funny, outside of the cities, people are more conservatives and less diverse.

    Your map is spot on.
  28. James Manning Says:
    They are trying hard to make people believe that most of this country is republican... they may get a few more votes, but most people are blue.
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