Advertising: Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video

The following is a paid advertisement for the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video and is brought to you by West Mothafuckin' Side Publishing, and does not reflect the thoughts and attitudes of this blog and its commentors.

Are you looking to start your New Years off with beating a mothafucka's ass but have neither the strength nor the wind to do so. Ladies, have you been saying to yourself all year, 'that bitch needs her ass whooped?' Men, how many times has it crossed your mind to walk up to the dirty bastard that has gotten on your nerve all year and knock him the fuck out? If this scenario is familiar to you and you haven't taken action because you are either too fat or too out of shape to do so - then this product is for you.

West Mothafuckin' Side Publishing has just the product to whip your sorry ass into shape. Presenting the "Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video". Not since the days of Jane Fonda has an exercise video revolutionized the way mothafucka's get their workout on.

The Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video is loaded with 120 minutes of high octane, low impact, self-defense maneuvers, strength training procedures and secret pimp slappin' techniques. All demonstrated by certified trainers/pimps who have attended 600 hours of physical fitness classes and endured over 600 hours of pimpin' on the streets of Chicago.

But don't take our word for it. Check out the testimonies of satisfied customers across the globe.

For most of my life I was considered a weak bitch. Boys beat me up, girls took my milk money. My self-esteem was low and I was always afraid to be in large crowd for fear of getting my ass whooped on GP. Then one night I saw the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video and it stated how I had a choice in not maintaining my wuss status. After three months of following the videos intensive physical regiment and mental exercises, I became a new man. Just yesterday I slapped the shit out of the maitre d' for putting 4 ice cubes in my water when I specifically asked for three. This time last year I wouldn't have done that. Now I'm slappin tricks on the regular. All thanks to the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video... they can't fuck with me.
Lets hear from a female client.

Ray Ray use to beat my ass all the damn time. I couldn't do nothing about it because I was 50 pounds overweight. One day my girlfriend told me about the exercise video that helped her get her man in line and she gave it to me. Well, four months later and fifty pounds lighter, Ray Ray tried to put his hands on me and I commenced to wearing his ass out. I pimp slapped his ass like I was Gene Hackman on Mississippi Burning all the while screamin' 'Bitch, get off me.' Since that day, I got that bitch reading the "Hoe Go Fix My Grits" cookbook, bringing me hot wings from the barbecue house and polishing my toes. And I owe it all to the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video.
The success in the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video is not only in the innovative way we go about teaching fitness and pimpin' skills, but in the music that alters the mentality of the listener as they learn the technique to properly whoop ass. The soundtrack of the video is laced with the hottest mind-altering club bangers like:

1. Weak Niggaz Let Hoez Read - Osama the Don
2. No WMD's (But I Still Lit Dat Ass Up) - Killa G
3. Oh Pleaz, Oh Pleaz, Oh Pleaz (Just Gimme Just One Mo Hit) - Rodney King f/Marion Berry
4. Katrina... Aint But A Word To Me - Mike Brown
5. Coonin' For Your Heart - Jesse Peterson and the Larry Elder Quartet

and many more...

Although the music is great, it is the technique of our trainers that make the difference. The exercise video showcases the latest in physical fitness techniques divided into three different routines:

Step & Intervals....9 minute active warm up, 21 minutes of high intensity step aerobics (which teaches the art of stepping yo foot off in a trick's ass), 10 minutes of ALL CHEST pounding exercises, 5 minute pimp slap stretch.

Kickbox.....9 minute active warm up, 23 minutes of kickboxing chops to the back of the throat, 10 minutes of elbow to the mouth exercises, Abs 12 minutes, pimp slap stretch 5 minutes.

Leaner Legs.....For those who are looking to flee the police after administering an ass kicking. 3 minute stationary warm up, 33 minutes ALL LEG jumping a fence and hiding in the alley exercises, 9 minutes of ABS, pimp slap stretch 4 minutes.

All routines are presented by our specially trained trainers.

Make your New Years Resolution to whoop a trick's ass possible by purchasing the Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video today. It has changed the lives of many and we guarantee that it will change yours. You can have this video for the New Years sale price of $14.99. That's Right, just $14.99!!! This is for a limited time only.



Don't be a fat bitch in '06!!!

Call West Mothafuckin' Side Publishing @
1-877-WHOOP-EM

Operators are standing by.

Disclaimer: Please recognize that no matter how much training you've had, there are some people in the world that will fuck you up with the quickness. So if you step to some Ving Rhames type mothafucka and he goes Medieval on yo ass - then you just picked the wrong mothafucka to fuck with. West Mothafuckin Side Publishing is not responsible for any injuries acquired from any attempt to whoop a trick. By purchasing this video, you assume all risk to getting yo ass whooped when applying the techniques demonstrated in this video. We're not trying to pay because you decided to do some dumb shit. Fuck that!!!

Don't forget to check out our Cuss Out Kit now available.

And the folks at West Mothafuckin' Side Publishing welcomes you to 2006!!!

 

32 Responses to Advertising: Whoop Dat Trick Exercise Video

  1. Jaimie Says:
    That was good. Remember last night with the Climatique commercial? Do one like that next...our little secret...
  2. kerri Says:
    lmao.... "don't be a fat bitch in 06"... that's hilarious james! thanks for the laugh on day 2 of '06... hope you have a great new year...
  3. Little Miss Chatterbox Says:
    Alright, this is another good one. And for such an economical price :-).
  4. Diane S. Says:
    Is West Mothafuckin' Side Publishing accepting material for publication? ;-)

    Answer the phone James. It's an agent.
  5. Malik Says:
    That's classic man. Somebody needs to hook you up with a producer.
  6. Dan-E Says:
    holy crap this is hilarious
  7. DJ Diva Says:
    I'm done...I never expected that James...That was hilarious!!!

    Pimp's prayer:

    Lord guide my hand and make it strong Lord that she might know a Ho's place....(A Pimp Named Slickback, Boondocks 2005)
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    I am sure you have heard the song "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club but have you ever given much thought to its meaning? While on Earth, you are living in a world of reincarnation which is governed by the law of karma. Karma begins to propel you as Soul on a personal journey through the universe. Karma ends when you have reached enlightenment and fully realise that this physical reality and the Universe itself is just an illusion. When you reach a state of knowingness that there is but One all pervading essence and that essence or consciousness is You!
    So what is Karma and how does it work? While in the illusion you have a soul. This soul lives past, present, and future lives. To grow in love, joy, and awareness, you reincarnate into a series of physical bodies to experience different existences. This road leads to the experiences of being both sexes, all races, religions, and ethnic types throughout many lifetimes.
    Karma in its simplicist terms can be described by the biblical statement "as you sow, so also shall you reap". Karma is the principle of cause and effect, action and reaction, total cosmic justice and personal responsibility. It brings 'good' experiences as well as 'bad' - a debt must be repaid and a blessing rewarded.
    A more indepth esoteric look at karma gives us the following distinctions: Sanchita Karma: the accumulated result of all your actions from all your past lifetimes. This is your total cosmic debt. Every moment of every day either you are adding to it or you are reducing this cosmic debt. Prarabdha Karma: the portion of your "sanchita" karma being worked on in the present life. If you work down your agreed upon debt in this lifetime, then more past debts surface to be worked on. Agami Karma: the portion of actions in the present life that add to your "sanchita" karma. If you fail to work off your debt, then more debts are added to "sanchita" karma and are sent to future lives. Kriyamana Karma: daily, instant karma created in this life that is worked off immediately. These are debts that are created and worked off - ie. you do wrong, you get caught and you spend time in jail.
    As a soul, you experience a constant cycle of births and deaths with a series of bodies for the purpose of experiencing this illusionary world gaining spiritual insights into your own true nature until the totality of all experiences show you Who you really are - the I AM! Until you have learned, you will find that pretending that the rules of karma do not exist or trying to escape the consequences of your actions is futile.
    Although it may often "feel" like punishment, the purpose of karma is to teach not to punish. Often the way we learn is to endure the same type of suffering that we have inflicted on others and also rexperience circumstances until we learn to change our thinking and attitudes.
    We are all here to learn lessons as spiritual beings in human form. These lessons are designed to help us grow into greater levels of love, joy, and awareness. They teach us our true nature of love. Where we do not choose love, show forgiveness, teach tolerance, or display compassion, karma intervenes to put us back on the path of these lessons. Quite simply, the only way to achieve a state of karmic balance is to be love.
    Before you incarnated into your present personality, you agreed to put yourself in the path of all that is you need to learn. Once you got here, you agreed to forget this. Karma is impersonal and has the same effect for everyone. It is completely fair in its workings and it is predictable - "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" is a way to ensure peace and tranquillity in your own life as well as the lives of those you come into contact with. The law of karma is predictable - "as you sow, so shall you reap" what is done to you is the net result of what you have done to others!
    Karma gives you the opportunity at every moment to become a better person than you are and to open up to the realization that you are the master of your own fate.
    The goal of karma is to give you all the experiences that you need to evolve into greater levels of love, joy, awareness, and responsibility. Karma teaches that you are totally responsible for the circumstances of your life. They keep you on the straight and narrow until you have mastered your vehicle and can ride freely on your own. Once you understand that you are the master of your own circumstances and that everything you experience is a direct result of your past actions due to your thinking and emotional responses you can overcome its seeming negative effects by creating only 'good' karma.
    Karma forces us to look beyond ourselves (oneness) so that we can see ourselves as we truly are Whole, Complete, at One with everything. Once we truly understand ourselves, we can see our divinity and our unity with all life.
    Karma drives us to service. Love means service. Once you accept total responsibility for your life, you see yourself as a soul in service to God. Once you do, you become a fully realized being, allowing God to experience the illusion through you.
    Belief in karma and an understanding of its workings will lead you to a life of bliss. Only your own deeds can hinder you. Until the time comes when we release ourselves from our own self-imposed shackles of limitation and fully understand who and what we are we will live under the mantle of karma. So until that day why not create some wonderful experiences for ourselves by "doing onto others, as we would have them do unto us". self-hypnosis
  17. Anonymous Says:
    Neurolinguistic Programming

    In the early 1970s in America Richard Bandler, then a young college student studied the work of Fritz Perls and later Virginia Satir and found that he could reproduce their high-level therapy skills to a degree that even surprised him. Bandler seemed to have a natural ability to mimic (model) the language patterns by Virginia and Fritz.

    At the University of California at Santa Cruz, Bandler who was well versed in the teachings of patterns in mathematics and computers teamed up with a college professor, John Grinder to help him understand the processes that were at work. Soon Bandler and Grinder, who used what he knew about patterns in linguistics, created a new model for personal growth called NeuroLinguistic Programming.

    Bandler and Grinder had set out to model the hypnotic skills of Milton Erickson. They had astounding results. They built a communication model about human "thinking" and "processing" and used that model of how we see images, hear sounds, reproduces smells and tactile experiences in our mind to track and model the structure of subjective experiences.

    Sounds very complicated but really it works very simply. Here is an example as used by Paul McKenna - probably the best & most successful hypnotist in the world.

    Close your eyes and think of a negative memory. Become involved in the situation as best as you can. Feel the emotions that you felt, see the things you saw and hear the things you heard.

    Now take that memory and project it onto a mental screen seeing yourself in the picture. Put a frame around the picture and view it as if it is an old photograph. Next drain all the colour from the picture and shrink the screen to the size of a matchbox.

    Have the feelings associated with the picture decreased in any way?

    Another good example of NLP involves Anchors. Have you ever smelt a certain perfume or aftershave and had it remind you of a certain person or situation? Gone to a certain place that brings feelings long forgotten flooding back? Or been in any situation that creates emotional responses that would not normally be associated with it? Well if you can answer yes to any of these then you have experienced anchors. Some anchors are associated with positive feelings and some with negative emotions. However, you should be aware that anchors can be consciously installed or already existing ones altered. Here is an example:

    Think of a time when you were really happy. If you can't think of one then imagine something that would make you feel really happy. See what you would see, hear what you would hear and feel what you would feel. Really get into the picture and try to experience it as though it were happening now.

    Now brighten the colours and make them richer. Increase the volume. Make the picture bigger, brighter, louder. That's it and more and more....

    Now press your first finger against your thumb and fully experience your happy feelings. Do this everyday for 2 weeks and you will create an anchor that will instantly recreate these feelings. Whenever you want to feel like that again just press your thumb and first finger together and wham the feelings will come flooding back! Don't believe me? Just try it and see!!! personal development
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