Friday's Top Ten: White Girl Crushes
You know how there are folks that you just like? Well, in my lifetime I've seen some white girls on television that just did it for me. The following is a list of the top ten. They are not ranked by looks but how I felt about them. So it may surprise you on who actually made the cut.
And for entertainment purposes, I added some ratings. Below is the rating and what they mean.
HP Rating (Ho Potential: Almost any woman can get attention, but some more than others. The higher the rating, the more they stand out in a crowd.)
PP Rating (Pimp Potential: Some women can barely get a guy to pay for a cola while there are others that could get an expense account and an American Express Card)
And without further delay. I now introduce the world to Jimmy's Top Ten Crushes: White Girls on TV!!!
10. Angie Dickinson (Police Woman) – There was a part in the opening credits where they show her legs while walking up a staircase. That got me. She was born in 1931 so she was in her 40’s when I got my crush. Ain’t that something. I can’t hate. Go ahead witcha bad self, Angie.
HP Rating = 8: If a 40 something woman can get the attention of a young buck like me, then she had to be a showstopper.
PP Rating = 10: I can’t front on Angie. Pimp hand must’ve been tight.
9. Kate Jackson (Charlie’s Angels) – She didn’t have much of a body but she was cute. I first fell for her when she played the nurse on “The Rookies”. She has something on me. She was so wifey like.
HP Rating = 6: Kate reminds me of a line from Common’s I Use to Love Her (I did her, not just to say that I did it)… that makes her girlfriend material.
PP Rating = 3: I just can’t see her pimpin’.
8. Victoria Principle (Dallas) – She was a hottie. I think JR wanted to hit it but he never really went at it. She wore tight jeans, like a cowgirl should, and she had a brain on her.
HP Rating = 8: I know she had those oil tycoons lusting for her.
PP Rating = 9: When your surrounded by rich old guys with old money, pimpin’ for a foxy mamma like Vickie becomes as easy as catching flies with cow dung.
7. Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) - Y’all knew she would make the list. I watched the show just to see her run around half naked in her Captain America bikini. I think they padded the butt… hey, ya do what ya have to do. I can’t take anything away from her. I loves me some Lynda Carter.
HP Rating = 10: Any other rating would be uncivilized.
PP Rating = 10: She had a lasso that forced the truth out of people. That’s pimpin to highest of pimpstivity.
6. Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady) – You are my first love. The long blonde hair and the innocent schoolgirl charm were so delightful to watch. Ah, my heart melts just thinking about you. You my Boo. I remember how you thought you’d never be a teen model after getting popped in the nose with a ball. But I still loved you and I wanted to whoop Peter’s ass.
HP Rating = 2: Sorry Marcia, I met you as a teenager and you had yet to reach the height of your hoism.
PP Rating = 2: Again, as a teenager, you were unaware to ways of a pimptress. Having a love sick, horny teenage boy carry your books is a good start – but not good enough.
5. Heather Locklear ( TJ Hooker) – As far a white girls are concerned, one of the baddest out there. She’s still a hottie after all of these years. But it was in that police uniform when I first fell for her. Oh… what is does to me to see a woman with a gun.
HP Rathing = 10: Heather has it… hands down. She’s an attention grabber.
PP Rating = 12: It is one thing to pimp a man, but it is something else to pimp an entire industry. And when you’re pimpin an industry that is known for its own pimpin status – that my friends is pimpin beyond the heights of pimpstivity. Heather walks in front of a camera and it is instant ratings boost. “Spin City” and “Melrose Place” know first hand the magnificence of Heather’s pimpin' ways. Pimp on, Heather… pimp on.
4. Valeri Bertinelli (One Day At A Time) – Ok, she started off a little dumpy then grew into a beautiful woman. But I was really smitten by her. If Valerie was in it, I was watching it. Even to this day I think she is a beautiful woman.
HP Rating = 7: Hey, when you marry a rock star, then it’s obvious you’re HP is above average.
PP Rating = 5: She’s a cutie pie but her pimp hand is average.
3. Joyce Dewitt (Three’s Company) - This may surprise many of you, but I was head over heels in love with Janet. She feel off with the curly hair style but came back strong with a nice short cut – but along the way she got a butt. Yes, baby had back. I take that back. Baby had a hatch back…
HP Rating = 8: Running around in those skimpy night gowns just did it for me and I’m sure they would do it for others.
PP Rating = 7: She was “this close” from an expense account.
2. Jacklyn Smith (Charlie’s Angeles) – Surprised, huh? I never missed Charlie’s Angels and for some reason I could never take my eyes off of Jacklyn Smith. She just did for me. Even to this day I’m still attracted to her. Yes, I had it bad for Jacklyn. I’m not sure where she would rate with you guys… but for me she is it.
HP Rating = 9: Unlike Kate Jackson, Jacklyn has a hottie factor that propels her into the upper echelon of the HP rating.
PP Rating = 8: I can see Jackly pimpin the CEO of Robo-Tronics Inc. She has that Beverly Hills pimptress thing going.
10. Catherine Bach (Dukes of Hazards) - YES, my number one crush is none other than Daisy Duke. Let’s face it, baby got front, baby got back… baby got ah fender. You’re the number one reason I watched the show, Kathy. You so fine.
HP Rating 100: C’mon now, she may be a little country girl, but you know with a southern accent and a booty bangin’ off the tracks, Daisy could pull any slob from any income bracket. Oh, and we can’t forget that Daisy Duke is synonymous with tight little shorts – that my friends is hoing to legendary proportions.
PP Rating 100: See HP Rating then add the fact that she knew she was the baddest bitch and knew how to work it. She had poor Enos wrapped around her little finger. I bet she could get a congregation of men to pay tithes. It was a sin to have Jessica Simpson play your role. She's just an LBH (Low Budget Ho) tickin' on MTV while you're slappin yo tricks on Rodeo Drive.
Well there you have it folks. My top ten white girl crushes.
Have some fun with this.
1. What’s your number 1 white girl crush? List HP and PP ratings.
2. Which rating on my list would you change? Why?
10:43 AM Sooo many ommissions! Kate and Jacklyn, but no Farrah? She at least deserved an honorable mention. She's a little whacked in the head, but 30 years later she is still looking pretty good.
Ditto for Kim Bassinger and Bo Derek.
And where oh where is Racquel Welch??? Did her Bolivian father cancel out her Irish mother and knock her out of the white girl category? One Million Years BC - DAAAYYYUMMMM!
Ursula Andress is Dr. No - DOUBLE DAAAAYYYYUUUMMM!
10:46 AM Man, I would have to say my #1 is Markie Post when she was on Night Court. In fact, I can't believe she didn't make the list?!
I have never understood men's obsession woth Heather Locklear. Can someone explain?
My favorite Charlie's Angel was always Cheryl Ladd.
10:55 AM yes, there are some that didn't make the list. I forgot about Markie Post but Farrah was not my cup of tea. I didn't to Kim Bassinger and Bo Derek because they were more movies than television. Had I gone to movies, I would have to add Kelly LeBrock to the list.
Racquel Welch wasn't on television a lot as I recall - she is a hottie.
Annie Potts is another that just missed the cut. Lonnie Anderson could probably jump to number 6 or 7. I guess as more folks comment, we may come up with a new list because it is easy to forget people when I'm going back 30 years.
11:57 AM LOL--This post cracks me up!! Mine obviously would be men but in highschool my crushes were: Scott Baio, Matt Dillion and Michael J. Fox.
12:19 PM Six, from Blossom, now on what's that show with Monique and Countess Vaugh...
HP 10
PP 8
12:43 PM Thanks for trip through TV memories james.
I too was totally lost on Valerie Bertinelli. Markie Post is a good as is Loni Anderson. And what about Ellie May Clampett from the beverly Hillbillies. Dumb, but good looking.
I am totally with you on Angie. Best legs in the business in those days. Without a doubt.
Sorry Bullfrog, either you get or not. Locklear was/is hot.
1:11 PM Dave, I had to give some love to Angie.
Nsane, Blossom was latter on for me but Six tight with the BGB (Black Girl Butt).
2:03 PM Oh! TV! Then I'd have to go with Trixie from "Speed Racer" and Neptima, "Marine Boy's" topless mermaid companion.
2:45 PM John,
You might need some counseling or I might have to do a list on cartoon babes. Either way, the thought is sick... yet intriguing.
7:13 AM I can't believe you picked Janet of Chrissy. Thats just crazy.
11:50 AM farrah looks a HOT MESS. i can't believe someone mentioned she still looking good! that's a farce, a ruse, an untruth!
and i'd munch on angelia jolie's carpet if i ever went that way.
12:04 PM Great list. There needs to be a committee to organize an annual review for all us horn-blooded hetero objectifying males (and objectifying lesbians).
Markie Post, Lynda Carter and Victoria Principal are the tops on my personal All-Time White Chick Hotties list, and it hardly makes a difference re the order (mebbe sliiight edge to Markie).
"Six" makes the top ten. Lonnie and the other famous big-haired blondes are a given, too (including Linda Evans), but let's not forget one under-the-radar brunette: Jan Smithers, a.k.a. "Bailey" on WKRP.
I have a thing for brunettes, but brunettes wearin glasses...? Hoo! You bet that's a (rubber) wrap.
3:21 PM OK, you obviously have a thing for brunettes and Maureen McCormick should've been higher on the list. And Joyce Dewitt!?! She was cute, but wouldnt even make my Top 25. Loni Anderson should definitely be on here and so should the chick who played the oldest sister on "Charles in Charge". Suzanne Somers was dumb, but "Chrissy" did it bigtime for me as well. Besides that....great list!
6:43 PM Yeah, Angelina Jolie is unfairly gorgeous, but she does movies, not TV. So . . . I would have to agree that Heather Locklear is beautiful. So are Portia de Rossi (Ally McBeal, she was fabulous), Angie Harmon from Law and Order, Dylan McDermot in The Practice, Benjamin Bratt in Law and Order,Omar Epps in House, Makhi Phifer in ER, and Jason Smith from Sex and the City. :)
6:44 PM I might be more "new school" than most on here.
9:44 PM #1 has to be Angelina Jolie -- she is the black man's dream.
10:37 PM Man I can't believe you left off Cheryl Tiegs.... I don't even know if she did TV but that was my woman...
6:32 PM 1. Jaclyn Smith
1a. Dawn Wells
2. Valerie Bertinelli
3. Lynda Carter
Only dark-haired white women appealed to me, too. ;)
7:32 AM Jacklyn Smith, and Linda Carter had some great battles in my head when I was young.
-Locklear, not my style.
-Joyce DeWitt, respectable, but no.
-Marsha? You gotta be joking.
And everybody else is right about the beatdown you need for missing Loni Anderson. Farah? eh, not so much.
11:31 AM Racquel Welch & Markie Post I agree with, but I'd have to personally put Joyce Dewitt (Who I met in Chicago last year) as my personal #1. Them tight jeans and heels, along with the shiny lips...call ME a sellout! LOL
6:58 AM Love Joyce DeWitt's tight-assed jeans myself!
6:59 AM I agree...Mr Furley would have kicked my ass out a long time ago...I would have been running up inside them tight jeans of hers so much, I would have cummed water! LOL
4:21 PM Didn't care much for Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island, eh? I myself had a thing for Yasmine Bleeth (well, until she had that coke problem).
1:37 PM The so called guys that don't think Joyce Dewitt should be at least on the list....are really light in the loafers. Joyce was so bangin in three's company. Those skin tight jeans with all that booty and thighs. Perfect tan. No matter what hair style she had she was such a cutie and funny. No way you can put any blonde from the show over her, cause she had a unique look.