You know how there are folks that you just like? Well, in my lifetime I've seen some white girls on television that just did it for me. The following is a list of the top ten. They are not ranked by looks but how I felt about them. So it may surprise you on who actually made the cut.
And for entertainment purposes, I added some ratings. Below is the rating and what they mean.
HP Rating (Ho Potential: Almost any woman can get attention, but some more than others. The higher the rating, the more they stand out in a crowd.)
PP Rating (Pimp Potential: Some women can barely get a guy to pay for a cola while there are others that could get an expense account and an American Express Card)
And without further delay. I now introduce the world to Jimmy's Top Ten Crushes: White Girls on TV!!!
10. Angie Dickinson (Police Woman) – There was a part in the opening credits where they show her legs while walking up a staircase. That got me. She was born in 1931 so she was in her 40’s when I got my crush. Ain’t that something. I can’t hate. Go ahead witcha bad self, Angie.
HP Rating = 8: If a 40 something woman can get the attention of a young buck like me, then she had to be a showstopper.
PP Rating = 10: I can’t front on Angie. Pimp hand must’ve been tight.
9. Kate Jackson (Charlie’s Angels) – She didn’t have much of a body but she was cute. I first fell for her when she played the nurse on “The Rookies”. She has something on me. She was so wifey like.
HP Rating = 6: Kate reminds me of a line from Common’s I Use to Love Her (I did her, not just to say that I did it)… that makes her girlfriend material.
PP Rating = 3: I just can’t see her pimpin’.
8. Victoria Principle (Dallas) – She was a hottie. I think JR wanted to hit it but he never really went at it. She wore tight jeans, like a cowgirl should, and she had a brain on her.
HP Rating = 8: I know she had those oil tycoons lusting for her.
PP Rating = 9: When your surrounded by rich old guys with old money, pimpin’ for a foxy mamma like Vickie becomes as easy as catching flies with cow dung.
7. Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman) - Y’all knew she would make the list. I watched the show just to see her run around half naked in her Captain America bikini. I think they padded the butt… hey, ya do what ya have to do. I can’t take anything away from her. I loves me some Lynda Carter.
HP Rating = 10: Any other rating would be uncivilized.
PP Rating = 10: She had a lasso that forced the truth out of people. That’s pimpin to highest of pimpstivity.
6. Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady) – You are my first love. The long blonde hair and the innocent schoolgirl charm were so delightful to watch. Ah, my heart melts just thinking about you. You my Boo. I remember how you thought you’d never be a teen model after getting popped in the nose with a ball. But I still loved you and I wanted to whoop Peter’s ass.
HP Rating = 2: Sorry Marcia, I met you as a teenager and you had yet to reach the height of your hoism.
PP Rating = 2: Again, as a teenager, you were unaware to ways of a pimptress. Having a love sick, horny teenage boy carry your books is a good start – but not good enough.
5. Heather Locklear ( TJ Hooker) – As far a white girls are concerned, one of the baddest out there. She’s still a hottie after all of these years. But it was in that police uniform when I first fell for her. Oh… what is does to me to see a woman with a gun.
HP Rathing = 10: Heather has it… hands down. She’s an attention grabber.
PP Rating = 12: It is one thing to pimp a man, but it is something else to pimp an entire industry. And when you’re pimpin an industry that is known for its own pimpin status – that my friends is pimpin beyond the heights of pimpstivity. Heather walks in front of a camera and it is instant ratings boost. “Spin City” and “Melrose Place” know first hand the magnificence of Heather’s pimpin' ways. Pimp on, Heather… pimp on.
4. Valeri Bertinelli (One Day At A Time) – Ok, she started off a little dumpy then grew into a beautiful woman. But I was really smitten by her. If Valerie was in it, I was watching it. Even to this day I think she is a beautiful woman.
HP Rating = 7: Hey, when you marry a rock star, then it’s obvious you’re HP is above average.
PP Rating = 5: She’s a cutie pie but her pimp hand is average.
3. Joyce Dewitt (Three’s Company) - This may surprise many of you, but I was head over heels in love with Janet. She feel off with the curly hair style but came back strong with a nice short cut – but along the way she got a butt. Yes, baby had back. I take that back. Baby had a hatch back…
HP Rating = 8: Running around in those skimpy night gowns just did it for me and I’m sure they would do it for others.
PP Rating = 7: She was “this close” from an expense account.
2. Jacklyn Smith (Charlie’s Angeles) – Surprised, huh? I never missed Charlie’s Angels and for some reason I could never take my eyes off of Jacklyn Smith. She just did for me. Even to this day I’m still attracted to her. Yes, I had it bad for Jacklyn. I’m not sure where she would rate with you guys… but for me she is it.
HP Rating = 9: Unlike Kate Jackson, Jacklyn has a hottie factor that propels her into the upper echelon of the HP rating.
PP Rating = 8: I can see Jackly pimpin the CEO of Robo-Tronics Inc. She has that Beverly Hills pimptress thing going.
10. Catherine Bach (Dukes of Hazards) - YES, my number one crush is none other than Daisy Duke. Let’s face it, baby got front, baby got back… baby got ah fender. You’re the number one reason I watched the show, Kathy. You so fine.
HP Rating 100: C’mon now, she may be a little country girl, but you know with a southern accent and a booty bangin’ off the tracks, Daisy could pull any slob from any income bracket. Oh, and we can’t forget that Daisy Duke is synonymous with tight little shorts – that my friends is hoing to legendary proportions.
PP Rating 100: See HP Rating then add the fact that she knew she was the baddest bitch and knew how to work it. She had poor Enos wrapped around her little finger. I bet she could get a congregation of men to pay tithes. It was a sin to have Jessica Simpson play your role. She's just an LBH (Low Budget Ho) tickin' on MTV while you're slappin yo tricks on Rodeo Drive.
Well there you have it folks. My top ten white girl crushes.
Have some fun with this.
1. What’s your number 1 white girl crush? List HP and PP ratings.
2. Which rating on my list would you change? Why?