Breakin’ (1984)– I was a shorty when break dancing hit the streets. I recall the days when I rode around with a roll of linoleum looking for a battle. What started this craze for me was the movie Beat Street. It was raw and gritty. It represented the hood in all its gore. Then some bastard put out the movie Breakin’. Not only did the dancing and acting suck to highest of suckstivity, the movie was too damn colorful. It left the impression that every brother in California was borderline tart. Seriously, doesn’t this scream gay to you?
That’s what I thought. If not for Boyz N the Hood, I’d probably still think California cats were on the sweet side.
But the gayness wasn’t the only problem with this movie. The fact of the matter is that the movie had no heart and I couldn’t relate to them. The clothing was whack. I’m not sure where the got their wardrobe. Maybe folks in California dressed like that at the time but we were a bit on the grimy side. It may be the nature of the beast. Because when you’re from a place like this:
It’s hard to imagine dressing like this:
So what else was wrong with this movie? The hardest part in the movie even came off a little wimpy.
Not to say they couldn’t whoop some ass or dance – but really… this looks like Michael Jackson “Beat It” video. This is nothing more than a Paula Abdul video gone bad. And you have to ask yourself, what B-Boy shows up to a battle in his GrrAnimals? We weren’t trying to go out like that. We were trying to be down with this:
Even when Ozone put down his classic stare scene – it seemed cheesy. Let’s compare.
So, maybe you’re saying, “James, it’s just a movie, man. Chill.” I would agree but then comes this scene:
Man, that pretty much sealed it for me. The problem is that I can imagine them hugging. I look at the following cats and the only thing I can imagine them doing is stabbing each other. Take a look:
I didn’t even get into the whack dance routines and battles. Overall, I have to say that Breakin’ is the wimpiest, gayest urban movie ever made. The fact that Ozone and Turbo became household names speaks to the lack of opportunities afforded black folks in the mid 80’s.
So there it is folks. Just a random thought.
I have no questions, but feel free to comment. Tune in tomorrow when the Friday Top Ten returns with my Top Ten: Crushes on White Girls. Holla!