Peace On That

Politics is starting to get fun again. I don’t mean fun in the sense that I enjoy what the Congress and the administration is doing, but the type of fun you get when watching Jason chase a woman through the woods and the anticipation on seeing her inevitable demise. The current political climate reminds me of a Jason movie. Let’s have fun with this and see where it leads us.


The Plot:
In December of 2000, in the midst of a election celebration, nine Camp Washington DC counselors sent a young student named Jason Democracy into the woods to search for an elusive flower called peace. He was never heard from again. There were rumors of foul play and an urban legend quickly spread that Jason would soon seek revenge.

Six years later, while preparing for another celebration, death returns to Camp Washington DC. And many town folks wonder, has Democracy returned for revenge?

Character 1: The Initializer (This is the first person that Jason gets a hold of. It is generally the guy that is the biggest jerk or the biggest slut in the bunch. This character is played by Bush.)

Bush is done, but I’m sure he has some fight in him but Jason has already stuck him in the neck with a hacksaw so we have only to wait until the blood has completely drained from his body and his limped carcass is tossed into the lake in ’08. This port deal was bad politics and his camping buddies ran off and left him in the woods to fend for himself. They’ll morn him, but I don’t expect anyone to go back and look for him.

It is Congress that is running through the woods while Jason silently walks knowing that at any moment he’ll be able to quench is bloodlust.

Character 2: The Sympathizer (Usually the chaperone or the first one to figure out what’s going on around them. They do everything to get the others to leave and in their quest to do what they think is right, Jason guts them. Sadly, this role is played by the Democrats.

The car was full of gas, they keys were in the ignition and all he had to do was get the hell out of dodge. He saw what happened to Bush by the lake and witnessed Jason slamming a young girl into a tree while she was trapped in a sleeping bag. He found a head in the refrigerator. He knew it was time to bounce and Jason was busy hacking to death an unfortunate soul. Escape was at hand. But he went back into the woods to prevent more carnage and Jason slapped him in the face with an ax. So sad.

Bush and the Republican Party are giving the Democrats a gift but they have yet to arrive at a strategy to take advantage of it. Their problem is that they are stuck on the small stuff and not presenting clear ideas to show themselves as a viable alternative to the Republican Party. They may not lose seats this November, but the way things are going, they are giving the Republican Party the Congress for the next generation.

Character 3: The reluctant Hero (This is the person that narrowly escapes Jason’s wrath time and time again until they finally figure out a way to send the bastard back to hell.)

He saw the imprint of his buddy’s face in the tree. Standing on the porch was Jason., with a machete in one hand and the head of his girlfriend in the other. He turned run, narrowly escaping the mighty swing of the machete. Finally, he lures Jason into the garage where he laid power lines throughout. Jason enter, he hits a switch, and Jason is electrocuted.

Conservatives are pissed at the Republican Party. They want to oust them for not sticking with their conservative principles. Under Republican control we have a larger government, more spending and a bigger deficit. But those conservatives that are ready to revolt will find it very hard to do anything about it. The Republican machine is a tremendous one and they’ve designed the system to protect incumbents and protect the number of Republican seats.

I’m not counting on much change in November. A few seats will turn but I suspect over 90% of incumbents will win – and things will go on as normal. But not to fret folks, just like Jason movies, there is always a sequel in politics. We still have the 2008 release. But in the meantime, we have November 2006’s bloodbath to enjoy. I think I’m going to need more popcorn.

Coming to theaters, November 2008

The Political Carnage Continues...