Welcome to the first installment of Jimmy's Making The Band. I assembled a team of talent scouts, A&R's, bootleggers and hasbeens and conducted a nationwide search to create the baddest band every heard in human history.
After six months of sleepless nights, 4 tons of rib tips, 400 cases of Pepsi, 42 gallons of barbecue sauce and the smashing of every Clay Aikens CD we could get our hands on, we came up with a roster.
There were several disagreements as some thought Boys II Men should have been hired. They were great when they auditioned but something about the jeans, shirt and tie with matching baseball caps rang of... well, um... punks. John Legend tried out for keyboards but he lost it when he popped his hips after playing. We all agreed that have Patti Labelle and a metrosexual would cause too much confusion.
Aretha Franklin and Patti Labelle couldn't get along plus Aretha ate all of the collard greens - that killed her chances. Finally, Brian McKnight made an excellent showing but he smiled too damn much so we had to cut him.
Anyway, we are pleased to present to you the greatest band ever assembled. Ladies & Gentlemen without further ado, I present to you...
Horns: Every great band needs a brass section and I would pull the horn players from Earth Wind & Fire. They killed it in the 70’s and I’m not sure if I’ve every heard a group play any better.
Bass: Mark Adams of Slave. For those that don’t know him, just pull out the single, “Slide” and “Watching You” then check out Aurra’s “Are You Single” and you will understand why he made the band.
Guitarist: This is hard because there are two that I’d like to have: Ernie Isley and Curtis Mayfield. They have distinct sounds and since it is my band, they both make it.
Lead Guitarist: Jimi Hendrix, hands down.
Keyboard: I’d hand the duty over to Alicia Keys. There are better piano players out there, but she brings youthful energy to the band – and every great band needs a hottie.
Drums: I’ll add some additional female flavor to the band by handing the sticks to Shelia E. Her skills are undeniable and again, nothing like a hottie on board to liven up the show.
Backup singers: I need some folks that can really do the damn thang. So, I’m picking Stephanie Mills, Luther Vandross & Patti Labelle for backup duties and the occasional lead singers.
Lead Singer: This is a soul, funk and classic R&B band so I need someone that can pull off all genres without missing a beat. So Marvin Gaye gets the job. This allows me to go funk, social and kill a slow jam. I can always pull one of my backup singers to change the mood.
Well, there’s the band but a band is only as good as the songs they put out so I have to put together a production team.
Songwriters: Prince & Stevie Wonder.
Producers: Ashford & Simpson