Political Pimpin'

The Corner

I’ve always had a fascination with ghetto preachers that drive new Caddy’s while folks in the pews struggle to pay rent. It always amazed me how “the spirit” moved them every week at the same time. I truly love when they talk about being obedient to God then command the masses to give up their tithes and offerings for a promissory note from God saying he would return the money “some two folds, some ten folds”.

You are truly a pimp when you can convince a church load of people that God has placed you as their Sheppard and in doing so, it is a privileged to honor you on the passa’s anniversary. Who ever said pimping aint easy was never a preacher.

And I know that there are some preachers out there like Creflo Dollar (and if that aint a pimp name I don’t know what is) that have taken pimpin’ to a new level, but our President has taken pimpin to the heights of pimp-stivity by pimpin – the preachers.

The Pimpin'

But not only did Ole George Bush pimp the preachers, he pimped the entire evangelical wing of the Republican Party.

Now, most of us already knew that George was a business-type Republican. However, you can’t get elected to office by promoting a corporate agenda. There is not much passion for changes in trade laws and fluctuations in long-term bond interest rates. But there is passion if someone could call for a war on baby-killers and faggots… sorry, if someone call for a cultural war. And Bush does what every good pimp does – sold his tricks a bag dreams. “Baby, you need me cause I can take you places.” like the Supreme Court. “If you stick with me, I can give you everything you ever dreamed of.” Like access to federal money for church charities.

And for five years that bought the dream. Ignored those slaps upside the head and midnight beating. (Federal spending ran amuck – largest expansion of government in US history). They overlooked him taking their money after an evening of tricking on the corner (cutting veteran benefits during a time of war). They did this because they believed the dream and the president took them off of the street and put them up in a hotel. (Cronies getting jobs, Christian groups getting government funds). The tricks knew that there was a pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow so they felt that getting waxed seven nights a week would eventually pay off.

The Pimp Slap

Then the pimp made it big and his tricks anticipated the reward for their loyalty. (Two openings on the Supreme Court – victory in the cultural war). And what did Bush do. He did what every good pimp does when their trick ask for their just awards – he pimped slapped ‘em. He not only did he whoop that trick, he left them on curb crying with no clothes.

George Bush placed two corporate attorneys on the Supreme Court. I know Miers is not on yet, but she’ll get there soon enough. The conservatives have been working this corner for 30 years and Bush came along at put his baddest trick on the corner (Corporations). Oh, the Evangelicals are putting up a fight but they know they’ve been used all that ho’in was for not.

Now, there is some pimpin’ going on with Democrats, but the Dems know that their tricks will cut them if they go too far. But when you’ve been ho’in for 30 years for a dream at its snatch away from you – man, that has to hurt. I’m just going to sit back and enjoy this because there are some new pimps in training getting ready to pimp the Evangelical right. But like they say, ‘Don’t hate the playa, hate the game’.


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