Peace On That

I have a problem with my girlfriend's cats. They wake up every morning at 4:00 AM and romp through the house like they are crazy. I can hear them jumping on the furniture, running through the hall, clawing at the door knobs (I have yet to figure out why) and all the while my girlfriend sleeps like a little angel. They never fail to dive on the bed and attempt to sit on my chest. (They may be out to kill me). If I move my foot it is attacked. Eventually I grow tired of this and I do a Fred Flinstone and put them out on the balcony.

The other morning I helped my girlfriend to the car with some bags of cloths. I walked back into the house and Belle (she was named after one of those Disney princesses), the girl cat, whom we rescued off of the street, is relaxing by the bedroom door. She reaches out and scratches the hell out of me as I pass her. I seriously contemplated punching her but I kept my cool. She has a right to be mad at me considering that because of me she fell from our third floor balcony.

Let me explain. I have a water bottle and I spray the cats whenever they get into something I’m not cool with. On one particular day, Belle decides to climb on the screen door. I’m not cool with this because cat claws could ruin screen and then I’d have to replace it. So, to get her off of the screen I splash her with water. It must have freaked her out pretty bad because rather than jumping down she tries to jump onto the balcony ledge. Well, she missed and fell three floors down into the building’s yard. It is a good thing there is soft dirt down there or she would have broken some bones. So I can understand if she were a bit… upset. But that was several months ago and since then she’s gotten shots, fed and had her litter box cleaned numerous times.

It’s not that I don’t like the little critters. They provide moments of entertainment but the scratching of the furniture, scratching my legs, ripping rolls of toilet paper off of the roll and walking on my chest in the middle of the night (wasn’t that a scene in a movie) gets to me at times. Why can’t cats be more like dogs? At least then I’d train them not to do things that drive me crazy. But then I’d have to walk them at ungodly hours. Maybe rather than kill them, I should get a bigger spray bottle.