Friday's Top Ten: LA Driving Techniques

After several months of living in Southern California, I’ve come up with a scientific method for recognizing in which area of Los Angeles that I am driving. I do this simply by looking at the driving techniques. The following are the Top Ten Driving techniques that I’ve noticed and in what area of Los Angeles I’ve noticed them.

10. Left hand on the wheel, right hand covering the eyes and one foot on the brake pedal: The 405 freeway

9. Left hand on the wheel, right hand holding a latte, head cradling cell phone, both feet on the gas peddle and poodle barking in the back seat: Beverly Hills

8. Left hand on the wheel, right hand holding a gun, 40oz on the lap, both feet on the gas peddle: South Central Los Angeles

7. Left hand holding cell phone, right hand holding Jamba Juice, eyes shut, both feet on the brakes: Marina Del Rey

6. Car in park, sun bathing on hood: The 10 Freeway

5. Left hand on rear-view mirror, right hand fluffing hair, knee on the wheel, foot on the gas peddle: Venice Beach

4. Left hand holding a beer, right hand on the radio dial, left leg out the window, right knee on the steering wheel and a brick on the gas peddle: The Valley

3. Both hands on the wheel, car moving 20 miles below speed limit, hazard lights blinking, right foot on gas and left foot smashing the brakes every 20 feet: Santa Monica on a Sunday Afternoon

2. Left hand on wheel, right hand out the window giving the finger, tailgating, ignoring traffic signals, running down pedestrians, and throwing Starbucks cups out of the window: Wilshire District.

1. Both hands on the wheel, both feet on the gas peddle, passenger waving gun out of the window firing shots at the 30 police cars in pursuit, helicopter overhead, breaking news reports on television: The 5 freeway


11 Responses to Friday's Top Ten: LA Driving Techniques

  1. Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden Says:
    10 28 05

    sho you right! I know about the 405 and the 5 you are right on! !!! LMAO ha ha ha ha! You have a gift for wittiness that I and others wish we had! Say, I should plug your blog. I will do so on Monday, if that is ok with you:)
  2. Jaimie Says:
    ha, ha. That was pretty accurate, in a stereotypical kind of way. What about how they drive in Korea Town? All over the place, Lexus and Mercedes Benz only-flying across lanes like there is no one else on the road. Scary...
  3. Revka Says:
    James, I agree with Mahndisa.
    You should do more of this stuff. you have a great sense of humor, and are pretty sharp coming up with stuff like this. Great!
  4. Bullfrog Says:
    Good stuff James!
    That sounds alot like San Diego, I swear we have the worst drivers in the world in Southern Cali! San Diego is well known for people NEVER using their signals so you can't tell where they are headed.
  5. taylor Says:
    So... is that how you drive when you get 'round those parts? You know... when in Rome...
  6. Dan-E Says:
    james. why you getting me all nostalgic and homesick now? *sniff*

    jamie, don't get me started on driving around koreatown. i hate that place.
  7. Shavonne Says:
  8. Little Miss Chatterbox Says:
    I enjoyed this :-)!

    I would've posted Denzel in my conservative hunks 2 post but I couldn't find anywhere that he is supposed to be a conservative. I know he has done things to support the troops but know nothing beyond that. Where did you hear he was a conservative??
  9. kerri Says:
    that's awesome james! all of mine would consist of old people from ohio and canada... lol
  10. James Manning Says:

    Denzel is a registered Republican. I don't know how conservative he is. But he is a Republican.

    Dan-E, I'm sure you're enjoying the personalities of New York's subway system.
  11. DJ Diva Says:
    I am never driving in Cali...