Women: Embrace Your Man's Love of Football
My girlfriend has a problem with sports and she documented her latest post. I understand her frustration of having to put up with me every Sunday and I sit around and watch a game that she’s knows nothing about. Her frustration is shown when she leaves the house on Sunday morning and return Sunday afternoon to find the house in the condition in which she left it and me sitting in the same spot staring into the idiot box.
I know it may seem bad, but I did forewarn her about my love for the game. However, I now feel that it is my duty to educate her and the women who suffer through Sunday afternoons on why men love football and why women should embrace the game themselves.
Football… is not just a game, but it is a microcosm of life. There is the goal and then there are the obstacles to reaching that goal in the form of the defense. In order to reach that goal, one develops skills, make acquisitions, develop a strategy and implement a game plan. Along the way there may be audible, mistakes are made in form of fumbles. In life we at times find the world coming down on us and we develop defense mechanism to combat it. This is the case in football. Defenses are created to keep the haters from reaching their goal (which is to hate on you even more).
Football encompasses two things that men truly glorify; strategy and violence. It’s the reason we start wars. We love blood and guts. We love the idea dismantling another human being and crushing his skull into the earth and spitting on his grave. Now, since we can do that in our regular, uneventful mundane lives, we created football. It’s why there is such a sport called boxing. But boxing misses the camaraderie factor. The idea of going to war with other men of like mind is what drives us to football. Boxing doesn’t posses the communal identity that comes when 11 men step on that gridiron with the purpose of quenching their bloodlust!!! No sport delves more deeply into the psyche of men and he stands over the slaughtered opponent and raise is fist to Pappa Bear Bryant and scream, ‘I am man. Hear me roar!”
Women, I say unto thee, embrace you man’s craving for his primal instincts to destroy. But not only should you embrace it, join him. You, woman, should encourage him to rave like a lunatic when the coach calls for screen pass on 3rd and 15. Beat the war drums with him when his team blows blocking assignment and the quarterback gets sacked, taking the team out of field goal range. Curse the television with him when the GM of the team drafts a offensive linemen when the team is need of a wide receiver and everyone knows you can get a lineman in the 5th round. Do this, woman, and you discover that a world of violent hits, zone blitzes and dime packages is a worthy world to behold.
And also in doing this, when that man returns from the world of death and destruction, he will have no choice but to honor the cleaning of the kitty litter, washing of the dishes and planting shrubs in the front yard. He will do this with a smile because he will KNOW that he has woman… that understands.
8:43 PM Peace on That,
I'm one of those rare men that does not look at much football, I played the hell out of it growing up and love to go to the Dome and watch Vick do his thang, but I don't watch alot of TV and that includes Football. So I found myself having to play catch up this year because my son is being recruited by quite a few Division 1 colleges-including USC. You are right about Football being more than a game- I feel sports in general replaced warfare, and if you think times are bad now, get rid of sports and I guarantee you won't like that world. Look at the world of Islam- it is a perfect example, ever hear of any professional leagues of any kind except "AL-Queda". As far as you Woman understanding- she might one day, she might not- just hope the credit card balances don't spike every sunday.
Later'
9:40 PM Doll, I can't believe you had the nerve to come to my blog on my comment area and post that football sucks! I can't believe you had the nerve to come on my blog, on my comment area on a post where I revealed ancient Chinese secrets that are hidden in the game of football and say that - FOOTBALL SUCKS.
My beautiful, lovely, sweet, darling one; you have just dishonored the memories of Walter Payton, Bear Bryant and the Gray Ghost. Those men sacrificed their bodies so men like me, men like Malik, men like Dell, men like Rell, men like Eddie could enjoy the passion of Sunday football. My goodness. I try to drop knowledge and you spit in my face.
I love you so much, but you, my dear, will have to face the Lord one day and he will ask, 'My child, what did you do with the game I gave thee.' And you will have to ask, 'what game'. And He will answer, 'Football.' And you will have to tell Him that you thought football sucks. From there, you will be relegated to the area of heaven where they only play cricket and drink tea. While the rest of us savor a heaven filled with ribs, beer and a zone blitz. I feel sorry for you.
10:32 PM Homes you ROCK!(I wasn't always a priest- you know Gardena and Compton, right?) You commented on my blog a while ago.I love your blog. Very intelligent and every once in a while you witness for our Lord in an awsome way .Once I figure out how to link to my blog you are linked. I serve a church in Santa clarita now . Lord , how I miss south L.A. Just keep beimg the man God made you to be and tell them about Jesus. Just like the good reverend taught you.
5:33 AM See, I don't mind football, and if I like the team, I'll get into it. Actually being at the game is the best though - b/c then you're surrounded by the whole intensity of it. I like basketball more than football, and can get into just about any college game, NBA is not always as easy save for a few teams. Although, if I were at the game it would be different.
Love watching volleyball! That is the most fun of all, because i used to play - that is about strategy and non-violence. If you exclude the force with which hitter slam the ball. Beach volleyball is less fun b/c there are only two players. I enjoy the teamwork involved in court volleyball.
Soccer and tennis are okay, if I am into the team/player and am in the mood to watch.
Track, baseball, and golf? Boring as hell.
I think that I am interested in sports that I think are fun to play - whether I've played them competiviely or just enjoy goofing off with them (e.g. football, tennis). That's how women (even girly ones) can enjoy sports in my opinion.
8:23 AM James and Jaimie: You two are too, too funny!
"Women, I say unto thee, embrace you man’s craving for his primal instincts to destroy." James, this sounds like a quote that will stand the test of time.
(Sorry, Jaimie. But here's an idea. Sneak his credit cards out of his wallet during the Super Bowl and go shopping.)
2:59 PM a woman who can sit and watch football gains like 40 points on the "you're worth marrying meter."
3:38 PM I love me some sports...and video games(my boyfriend just discovered my stash lol)
Human competition is what drives the soul!!!!!
7:23 PM Fortunate for me, I'm with someone who don't like watching sports as much as I do.