The Juxtaposition of Nigga’s and Bitches

Acknowledgement: The black man has failed his black woman. He has done this by not taking responsibility for failings of the black family structure. He has not taken responsibility for the degenerative images of the black woman the he creates and promotes to society at large. He perpetuates the destruction of the black woman’s mental state by destroying what it means to be a black woman. The black man has lead his people into the wilderness. And in this wilderness we role-play. The black man – the nigga. The black woman – the bitch.

Disclaimer: This post contains content that is suitable for mature audiences only. If you are easily offended or prefer to not read post with curse words, please view my archives for post that may be more appropriate for your taste.

I welcome the rest of you to an education on hood politics and the mental paradigm that resides within the ghetto. I am bringing up this discussion because Jaimie had a problem with BossMack, the author of TopMackNigga. She referred me to the blog where she left a comment about his calling all women bitches. We talked last night and from my response, she thought that maybe I was siding with him. I was not, but I told her that I recognized the game. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about so I feel that it is only appropriate to discuss it now. In order to do this topic some justice, I must give it to you in the raw… linguistically speaking.

The problem that a lot of women have is how does a man equate all women to bitches. Now most hood nigga's don’t recognize this, but the ghetto has a unique social structure unto itself. And where you fall in that social structure will determine just what type of nigga and bitch that you are. In general, we refer to a woman as a bitch when she has a bad attitude, talks a lot shit or walks around like her shit don’t stink. (I did warn you about the language. It won’t get any better). And let's be real ladies. You all know that there are times when you feel that you must act like what we normally consider a bitch, to get a point across or properly approach someone that is in need of a checking. Or when you are position of power and you don't want to have someone think that you are weak or a pushover. Think Martha Stewart. Hey, everyone knows that every man has an asshole lingering inside him waiting for just the right moment to pronounce himself to the world.

But most women accept that there is a bitch in them ready to snap the head off of those that dare to cross their line. What you don’t accept is that before you even open your mouth; before the man even knows your name, you are categorized as a bitch. That seems crude, misogynistic and disrespectful. And it is. But whether right or wrong, the term bitch is now broadly stroked across the entire black female spectrum no matter how you carry yourself. How did this come to be?

You have to recognize that the ghetto is a destructive force on the psyche. However, like human cells that regenerate after they are damaged, the human spirit will eventually regenerate the psyche. But sometimes the manifestation of that regeneration is not a positive one. Let’s take a look at the black man. Downtrodden and demoralized for over four centuries, he rises above his condition but somehow managed to accept that fact… that he is a nigga. And for the remainder of this post, that’s how I will define him.

Within the structure of ghetto there are four types of nigga’s. Three reside within the socio-political structure of the ghetto and one lingers outside of it.

The three that reside within it is the Baller, the hustler and the buster. The buster is that nigga with four or five kids but won’t claim them. He doesn’t work. The women in the buster’s life provide shelter. The hustler is that cat pushing dime bags, selling bootleg tapes, in the studio making mix tapes or hoping the bus to work that ten dollar and hour job. The hustler gets his money by legal or illegal means. But the hustler is always looking to become the Baller. Again, by legal or illegal means depending on his moral makeup.

Now we come to the Baller. This is the upper echelon nigga. He may or may not have a crib, but you can be damn sure his ride is tight, his gear is tight, his women are tight and his game is tight. This is the nigga that the hustler and the buster wish they were. Why, because materialism is the purpose. This setup is no different from mainstream America. In this country we have the poor, the middle class and the rich. Everyone envies Oprah and Donald Trump. Why, because they are rich. The ghetto is no different. It’s like a math class where the teacher grades on a curve. By doing so, a B in one class may get you an A in another. Just picture the ghetto is a separate class from the rest of American society.


Through the Baller You Became A Bitch

Everybody wants to come up and the Baller represents that. (Come up: to gain in material and social status.) Other men envy him (in the hood we call them dick-riders). Sisters have dreams of coming up as well. Now, most of you will say, get a job, go to school, yada yada yada. Remember, we are looking at a different class and I have yet to define that forth type of nigga that lives outside of the social-political structure of the ghetto. But for a man to come up, he must hustle is way to Baller status. However, the woman does not have that option. There are very few women that have the instincts, tenacity and killer mentality to every reach a Baller status. However, they can get with the Baller – and come up. That’s what they do… and the Baller knows this.

In DMX’s song, “What These Bitches Want From A Nigga,” he had a line that went:

In think about it, when a nigga didn’t have
When a nigga told a joke and the bitches didn’t laugh
And I do that math, I see if you go this,
And this and this and this
That nigga’s the shit.

That’s how you, my sisters, became the bitch. When a man knows that what separates him from having a beautiful woman is his ride, what is he to think. Cars are depreciable objects. So when a woman based the amount of attention they gives to a man on materialistic standards, that woman then becomes a materialistic and depreciable object. So it is not too hard to equate a woman to a car because the means of getting them are the same. "I scratch my ride, fuck it, I’ll get another one. This female is talking shit, fuck it I’ll get another one."

This happens in all facets of life. Why is it that Donald Trump can marry a young hottie? He has loot. Tony Hill, a ball player that once played on the Cleveland Cavilers, looks like a black Skelator. But his wife is Halle Berryish. Do you think she is with him for his charm and witty ways? No. Men with money attract beautiful women. The hood is no different. Except in mainstream America we refer to women like that as gold diggers and groupies. In the hood they are called bitches.

Because everyone that resides within the social-political structure in the ghetto is out for the come up, everyone gets the label. Nigga’s and Bitches.

Combating The Psyche

That’s the game. Recognize. And the saying is, don’t hate the player, hate the game. The fact is that there are a lot of people that enjoy being in the ghetto psyche. They embrace that structure. I imagine that BossMack is one of those types. He’s excelling in his class and is not interested in applying those skills in another class. Most Ballers possess the same skills as many CEO’s but without the education and the connections. Jay Z is a perfect example. And that leads me to the brothers and sisters that reside outside of that socio-political structure ghetto. I call them the grinders.

The grinders are not in come up mode, but are in elevation mode. Rather than rise within the structure of the ghetto they are seeking to rise above the ghetto. The Baller is thinking how can I get my next Benz while the grinder is thinking, how can I get from Watts to Westchester, and from Westchester to Baldwin Hills. Grinders don’t take care of their shorties - they raise families. The grinder probably could afford a BMW but choose to save more or send the kids to a private school. These are two different realities that are based on priorities and perspective.

There is no way not to be a bitch if you reside within the realm of the Baller. That is the game. So, if you live in the ghetto, live as a grinder and define bitch however you choose. Stop jockin’ nigga’s for their material gains. Recognize the fact that Ballers don’t value your presence. Recognize that macking is just selling the ‘come up.’ Buster’s mack to present themselves as hustlers, hustlers present themselves as Ballers, and Ballers present themselves as saviors.

Recognize a misogynistic nigga’s game for what it is... bullshit. But don’t get mad at the game - simply rise above it.

 

29 Responses to The Juxtaposition of Nigga’s and Bitches

  1. Dell Gines Says:
    Bitch has become a negative idiomatic expression referencing all females through the sick music we know as commercial hip hop, and it sucks and I don't use it towards a woman ever.

    IE, I got a bad bitch. Even when Jay-z said he had a bad bitch in reference to Beyonce.

    See I think bitch is different than nigga, because nigga when externalized and said by whites is evocative of past racism, while bitch has no such attachment other than to dog out a chick, and it has no positive frame of reference like nigga has evolved to.

    Think about it:

    When niggas called dudes bitches, it is negative for feminine trait.

    When niggas call girls bitches (1), it is negative as it refers to qualities men find offensive. How many of us have been in a club, and seen a man who got rebuffed by a women, no matter how civilly, call her a bitch?

    When niggas call girls bitches (2), it is negative as it references a myscogenistic women devaluation connotation, as in, that is MY bitch, those are My bitches, I get all the bitches, creating an inferior male, inferior female connotation.

    There is no frame of reference where I can see bitch is used in a positive uplifted light.

    Unlike the word nigga which is not used amongst us blacks as a negative word, it is either endearing, or a neutral description:

    You my nigga's,
    Those nigga's over there,
    I am going to get that nigga.

    But you are on point when you say women need to rise above it. Most niggas in the hood surround their personal insecurities and failures, by taking it out on to those around them whom are weaker. That is why so many of us ridiculously shoot at each other for minor offenses, fight over minor offenses, and disrespect women constantly and continually, collecting them as a commodity, and leaving the produce of that relationship, their seed.

    See the fact of the matter is this, most hood kids aren't men, nor do they behave like men, they are really nigga's, in truth they are the bitches.

    That is why I work with these kids, because it is only through facing personal insecurities of being black and in the hood, that you can begin to see value in yourself and then give value to those around you, including your women. That is when you will cease seeing them as bitches, and see them as life partners.

    niggas and bitches aren't two sides of the same coin, but most niggas who call and define women as bitches are generally bitches themselves.


    James has been dropping science lately :)
  2. James Manning Says:
    Ah, yes. Brilliant commentary. I'm trying to do the damn thang.
  3. Jaimie Says:
    I agree with dell gines. "bitch" means nothing but degradation.

    If I don't find you attractive, if I'm in a bad mood, if I make a lot of money, if I am your wife/girlfriend, or if I hold a position of power-this ABSOLUTELY does not make me a female dog (bitch).

    This makes me a woman with taste, emotions, fidelity, wealth, and education.

    Black men who refer to women as "bitches" actually fear them and find them threatening. What exactly is a bitch anyway? In my opinion, a woman will be called a bitch if she is mean, greedy, or cruel. I am none of these things, but I have been called a bitch (even by men on the street whom I declined their advances).

    I wish things were better.
  4. James Manning Says:
    I agree jaimie. I'm just presenting it from the baller perspective. it's all bullshit, but you just have to rise above it and not get played by them. but there are a lot of women that are perfectly fine with it. these men see women as depreciable objects. I'll have to go into that part on my next post
  5. Dell Gines Says:
    Keep doing it man, you have the blog really up and rolling nice since the change.

    I am hitting the wall, so I am deciding if I am going to keep on or not.

    Jaimie, you are right. Think about it another way. So many men are raised under a matriarchal home in our society when the people with power are the mom, the grandma, many times with no authoritative male figure around.

    Could not this bitch phenomenon be a result of black men overcompensating to establish themselves as an authority because they never had a real role model to show them how to appropriately?
  6. James Manning Says:
    Thanks Dell, I've actually been feeding off of other blogs lately. I see a post and get an idea.

    I agree with Jaimie that Bitch is a degrading term. But you will be surprise with how many sisters embrace it.

    Dell, you hit it on the head. The black man failed the black woman by not assisting in the rearing of black men. Now we have several generation of black men that equate their manhood to their materialistic gains and view black women, whom most were raised by, as objects.

    It is sick cycle.
  7. Jaimie Says:
    dell gines:

    How come when I click on your user name to see your profile blogger won't let me?

    Thanks for your comment on my blog.
  8. James Manning Says:
    jaimie, his blog is:

    http://www.dellgines.com/

    You really need to check it out. It is one of the few that I read every day.
  9. Dell Gines Says:
    I fixed it Jamie. I guess I had it on unviewable.
  10. Cynthia Says:
    This is interesting how you explained this subject. I don't like all of the name calling. This is an unfortunate part of our life.
  11. Deb S. Says:
    1. I am not, and never will be, a bitch.

    2. I don't use the word nigga.

    3. It's amazing how well you articulated this issue. At first, I wasn't sure if I wanted to read this post, but you got my attention immediately. This could be the basis of a thesis.

    Wow. Thanks, James.

    P.S. I still refuse to read BossMack.
  12. NewYorkMoments Says:
    This was a really interesting post for me. I have no personal reference for what ghetto culture is like except for the stereotypes I've encountered in the media. However I was absolutely insensed when I read that blog today. Whatever the reality of any culture, disrespect and misogyny are disrespect and misogyny no matter how you want to slice them.
  13. Steve Says:
    All you niggas and bitches don't know what's up... I runs thangs in my hood, and in my crib.

    Just kidding.

    One observation: The buster/huster/baller mentality has definitely creeped into the grinder's world. There are more than a few brothers who simply don't trust women - at all. And many of them come from middle class educated households.

    The same can be said for a number of those sisters who are financially successfull with education (degrees). It goes beyond the athelete with a million dollar contract - and Holly / Beyonce / Vivica by his side. There are (a significant amount of) sisters with that same "what has he done for me lately?" attitude. What we (men) can bring to the table (companionship, support, being "equally yoked", etc.) has degenrated into what kind of car we drive, how much money we earn, and making sure he looks good on her arm.

    I can justify some of this: If i had a sister, I would be sizing up her boyfreind in much the same way. But I'm not talking about the subtle observations, this stuff has gotten straight up blatent.

    I live in metro Detroit, so maybe this is just happenning in my city, and not necessarily elsewhere. I don't know. But it sure seems that the ghetto (mentality) has moved to a better neighborhood, in more than a few instances.
  14. MEP Says:
    This IS a really interesting post - nice job. And great comments afterwards too. I can't "bitch" as anything derrogatory, and it even bothers me when females use it to refer to each other. The only time I've heard it used in a semi-positive light is when gay men use it to refer to their female/gay male friends.

    It's funny, too, that I read this post and thought about how most of the points you were making trascend beyond the ghetto. I grew up in a small, white-ass, conservative town in KS and saw the same sort of attitude when it came to that term. It's all about "keeping women in their place" - as inferior to men. Any woman who has power, embraces feminism or liberalism, has an "attitude" or doesn't "know her role" gets called a bitch by men.
  15. James Manning Says:
    Steve & MEP,

    Thanks for reading. I am not trying to justify anything here but you are right... the ghetto mentality is creeping into all facets of life and I think that is because our culture promotes the most negative aspects of black people and holds it up as a standard. It is actually pretty sad to see brothers from middle class families act like thugs.

    And American society has always had this desire to deny women a place at the table. But why black men, especially when most of us were raised by black women, have such a primitive view of black women is something I don't understand.
  16. Dell Gines Says:
    Just as a funny aside. I was at my partners fashion show the other day, and it had a bunch of white girls there on the dance floor when it was over.

    Kanye West song "gold digger" comes on and they are getting down and singing the song. They get to the chorus and right to the part where he says broke nigga the said broke nnnnnnn...

    Got this awkward look on there face, and then skipped over it and kept singing.

    Hillarious.
  17. James Manning Says:
    I always wonder if white people are comfortable with that hook. probably not.
  18. MEP Says:
    I'm not comfortable with it personally, but I know lots of White people that will sing right along with the lyrics, regardless of what they are. They might change their tune - er - words if a Black person were around, though. I've noticed that some of my girlfriends are comfortable saying inappropriate things when I'M around, but if my BF is around they'll tiptoe around it or they'll speak softly so he doesn't hear it. Like it's ok to say it if he doesn't hear. Pisses me off.
  19. BossMack Says:
    Beautiful words! I enjoyed this greatly. I don't know which group I belong to? I believe in hustling, I don't sell drugs so I don't think I'm a Baller. I have a house in Compton (In my Hood of course) but I also have a Condo in Belmont Shores, so I'm kind of a grinder. Where I'm from grinding and hustling are the same things.
  20. TheOneandOnlyInsanely Says:
    This is some real shit. Thanks for the clarification, even though I didn't need it. So, in your terms I am not a Bitch, cause I like to SHIT on Ballers, just cause they think they could pull a bad bitch like myself, with their materal shit. They got another thing coming.......
  21. James Manning Says:
    @insane,

    that's the game. you feel me. i see the streets of the chi skooled you well.
  22. Shavonne Says:
    I don't get the positive association with the word "nigga." Maybe I've been living in white suburbia too long, but when someone refers to me with that word it hurts. When I hear it come from anyone's mouth it hurts.
  23. James Manning Says:
    Shavonne,

    I don't think there is positive association with nigga. I think it is what it is... a slang that black folk use. The debate still rages on but language is fluid and changes over time - and the term nigga morphed into something that started as a derogatory term and now it is not (if you are black).
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  27. Anonymous Says:
    James,
    I know this is an old post. But boss mack has stopped all of the anon posting. Because I found the brother is fake. So he is false and just someone writting about bs on the blog. You will notice that he has removed some pictures and posts. I bet he is going to shut down his blog
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