The Tyra Banks Show... Sucks!!!

Tyra Banks Show is a big pile of hot garbage. Oprah - she is not. I was on the couch pursing a nap when my girl turned to the show. The title of the episode was “All About Breast”. One of her guest was Ricardo Chavira from Desperate Housewives. So, Tyra had an expert on bras fit women that were wearing the wrong cup size bra. After fitting the women, Trya had a before and after spot where the new bust supported woman walks out to an audience excited about the “new look”.

What I couldn’t understand was the almost psychotic response these women received as they walked onto the stage. What makes women so excited about seeing another women get the right size bra? I can’t imagine a show involving men wearing the wrong draws with an audience full of men.

Host: (Walking through aisle) Today’s guest is a grown man still wearing tighty-whities.
We’re going to give him a makeover! (Host raises mic and turns to face audience.)

Audience: (silence)

Host: Well, lets welcome Stanley Humperdinkle to the stage.

Audience: (silence)

Host: Mr. Humperdinkle, how is that you still wear tighty-whities?

Stanley: Well, my mom refuses to buy the boxer-briefs and she says boxers won’t look right on me.

Host: So, your mom still buys your draws?

Stanley: Yes.

Host: Well, today we got you some Haynes boxer-briefs. Stand up and let the audience see how you look.

(Guest stands and turns)

Host: (to audience) How does he look, audience?

Audience: (silent)

Host: (to man in audience) So, what do you think of the changes?

Man: Well, I think rather than buying him some draws, you should have bought him some balls.

Audience: (Screams with pumping fist) Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls…

Host: (To Man) So you think Stanley needs to grow up and purchase his own draws from now on?

Man: Hey, I don’t give a damn about his draws. He just needs to stop acting like a punk biiyatch and stand up like he got a pair. (Rising to his feet) Be a man, for God’s sake!

Stanley: (In high-pitched voice) I am a man, dammit.

Audience: (Chanting with pumping fist) Get you some balls, punk. Get you some balls, punk. Get you some balls, punk.

Stanley: Stop teasing me.

Audience: (Chanting louder) Get you some balls, punk. Get you some balls, punk. Get you some balls, punk.

Host: Ok, that’s it for today’s show. Tune in tomorrow when we’ll look at new Chapstick for men.

Man: Is this some type of show for sissies? (grabbing host by the neck) And where’s the beer you promised us?

Audience: (chanting) Beer. Beer. Beer…

Fad to black

 

57 Responses to The Tyra Banks Show... Sucks!!!

  1. Dell Gines Says:
    yeah, but she's fine...
  2. James Manning Says:
    I think it is the wonders of airbrushing that makes her fine. And her personality (from what comes across on television) drops her a couple of notches.
  3. jaimie Says:
    Sorry I subjected you to that...it's just that I've seen Tyra twice in LA and both times she came across as a self-absorbed snob, so I was curious how she would conduct herself on her own show. She seemed false and uncomfortable. Sorry about all the screaming about breasts waking you from your nap...
  4. **FIRE** Says:
    Buddy, if you had breasts, then you would understand. Underware, draws, or whatever you call them are optional. Wearing a bra isn't. If you don't have the right one on, you can develop back problems and look a hot mess.
  5. Anonymous Says:
    Your're an idiot! Don't hate the player hate the game. Tyra plays the game well like so many other wished they could. You go Tyra make that green!
  6. Anonymous Says:
    Is everyone on crack? Tyra is like one of those nightmarish, superficial, non-intelligent, attention-seeking popular girls from high school who has managed to get a spot in the spot light. She will do anything to buy the love of her audience. Her desperate need for attention is so transparent. Can't you see?
  7. Bay Says:
    Are you kidding me? You're complaining about BOOBIES, man, BOOBIES. women + better bras = bigger-looking boobies!!! and you debate other's manliness?!?!

    mmm...boobies....

    -- Female, I swear!
  8. Anonymous Says:
    I can't stand her. She thinks like she's better than everyone else. Every guests is basically in for an interrogation. She's soooo judgmental and condescending! I hate her show. I wish they would cancel it tomorrow. She needs to get laid by "Tyrone"(it needs to be at least 14 inches). If I was pro-drugs I would tell her to get high and get real. She says she wants to be a role model, but instead she just acts like she's perfect and that gets on my last nerve. I can't wait for her show to get cancelled! Who's watching anyway?...Certainly not me.
  9. Anonymous Says:
    you guys are just stupid!! Tyra is great
  10. Anonymous Says:
    you guys are just stupid!! Tyra is great
  11. Anonymous Says:
    I THINK TYRA IS A VERY GOOD SHOW...NOT LIKE DUMB OPERAH WHO HAS DONE IT ALL SHE SAYS..IF YOU WHERE A WOMEN YOU WOULD KNOW THE HASSEL WE GO THREW TO FIND THE RIGHT BRA FIT..AT 13.00 DOLLARS IT BETTER FIT'TILL THIS DAY I STILL CANT FIND THE RIGHT ONE,,
  12. Anonymous Says:
    First of all Trya Banks is a real role model she succeeded in everything she has done in her life time. She has this show to help young women. She is real if she was fake she would never let anyone know she was wearining a hair weave, or the book she wrote beauty inside out she shows her true self in what she looks like and what make up can not only do for her but for everyone you just don't get it there is alot of things you can see that she is not a fake she is not trying to get in the spotlight you know why she was already in the spotlight just like any other TOP Model. Trya made something out of herself not just a model does'nt that tell all of you it's not all about her? There was not to many AFRO AMERICAN guests on Orphera show until she saw Trya Banks show because Trya banks is real, beautiful, fun etc.
    Trya has made an excellent image for herself or else no one would of support her being a TV host. All of you are jealous of this wonderful women. And if you don't know Tyra is a very sensitive person these comments hurt her and I know how she feels. When your beautiful and smart, intelligent and fun people always tried to make you ugly and a bad person.
  13. Anonymous Says:
    I think James Manning i
  14. *dreamer* Says:
    Trya...I Love You Shows & You Are Just GREAT!!
  15. Anonymous Says:
    I totally agree with anonymous!! Tyra really sucks because she thinks she is better than anyone else. I was watching one of her episodes where this gay guy wanted to have a surgery to become a girl. The mother and the sister were there and Tyra brought a TRANSEXUAL OBGYN to talk about the procedure and kind of convince the family. That is sooooo RUDE of her and unethical. What if it was her who had that son or daughter that wanted to have that surgery.
    She is such a fake and judgemental person who pretends to "change" people. After that show I TOTALLY LOST RESPECT for that b@#$^&!! SHE SUCKS!!
  16. Dayne Says:
    well i too think tyra sucks shes a typical superficial, NOSEY brat who asks crap questions intimidates guests and really just plain right shouldn't be on t.v but guys lets get real nowadays women(in general) are losing it they're self-absorbed and ignorant as to what life is truly about. thats why tyra's on t.v and these silly women love her.
  17. Anonymous Says:
    tyra thinks she is all that. when in fact, she's not. she's trying soo hard to be Oprah. her show is just a poor second to Oprah's. i hate her. i loved her at first. but after a few weeks of watching her show, i realized that she's not a good host at all. she intimidates her guests and instead of listening to them., she scolds them and gives 'em a piece of her mind. who wants to know what she thinks anyway?she's just a model. that's all she ever will be. she doesn't have a college degree,unlike Oprah. she is so accusing and thinks she knows everything. hell, she's just doing this just because she is getting fat and nobody wants her to be a model anymore. even victoria's secret,which she constantly boasts about. and oh yeah, i thinks she's arrogant and self-absorbed. she thinks her achievements are so wonderful. yeah,yeah. it's nice being a model and all but it's practically a profession for people who want to flaunt what they've got and make people feel sorry about themselves coz they're not a size zero.

    well tyra,sorry.

    i don't like you and i never will.

    i hope your show gets cancelled. it sucks!

    from: Francisca Pilapil,17 years old

    Cebu, Philippines
  18. Anonymous Says:
    Tyra is nothing but a self-absorbed manipulator. She's the one that's creating social disturbances and then acts like she wants to fix it. I hate her.
  19. montana lewis Says:
    well tyra sucks she is a mean bitch!!!!!!!!!!
  20. Anonymous Says:
    Let me start out by saying this is the first time I have ever left a comment about a celeb. I feel the need to do this to let go of all the negative energy that I have mistakenly taken on by watching her on "Next top Model" and the "Tyra Banks Show". I am floored and so disappointed at how self-absorbed she has became. When she has Celeb guests on her show- they can't even complete a sentence without her rudely taking over the conversation. If she's bored with what they are saying you can read it all over her face...then when she's had enough she just cuts them off and changes the subject. UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!! She needs to get over herself...I don't know who she thinks she is. Her actions and words on both of her shows makes me want to throw up. She needs to ground herself, because the path she is on is Ugly!!! Hey Oprah you need to talk to your girl...she is out of control!!!
  21. Anonymous Says:
    Do Society a favor...Cancel the Tyra Banks Show! She needs to stick to modeling....She's gorgeous.....until she opens her mouth!!!
  22. Anonymous Says:
    tyra just tries too hard to please everyone...she tells people to be herself but in reality she's FAKE.
  23. Anonymous Says:
    She is Horrible!!! She is FAKE from head to toe. Fake face with all that drag queen make up, fake hair & the creepiest clothes. She supposed to be the authority on fashion and she looks like she reps for Kmart. Who really knows what she looks like under all that stage make-up and hair?

    She and Rupaul can be like step sisters except that's she’s the ugly step sister. She's not even the big model she claims to be (in her dreams). What has she done really, Vickie Secrets (Ooohhh that’s really big time, not) and a few spreads in Sports Illustrated.

    She couldn’t hang with the big girls working the big shows in Europe. That’s why she called her mamma to hold her hand while she was in Europe for the whole long 1yr she barely made it through. Boo Hoo mama those girls are being mean to me. Don’t they know who I am?? Please... Wake up from your physic world of one-dimensional thinking, Freak!!

    She contributes to all the low self-esteem women deal with everyday that she bitches about on her show and blames the media doing. They’re one in the same.

    She uses those poor girls on her stupid model show. She takes out all her aggression on those girls and rips them to shreds like she got ripped going on casting for her two jobs she's done that she won’t let anyone forget.

    She has arrested development acting like a stupid 10yr old with ADD. She should be embarrassed by her STRANGE and FREAKISH behavior. All of her guests look at her like she is crazy with the bizarre things that come out of her FAKE mouth.

    She lies so much about her age. On one show she's 33, the next she's 34, and the next she's 35. "Hey Tyra keep your lies straight. Don’t your producers tell you that your shows are taped and anyone with any sense can prove age your inconsistencies"?

    She’s dumb like the scarecrow from the wizard of Oz and I think that giving her too much brain credit.

    I feel sorry for all those young girls whom she takes advantage of and uses to boost her own Very Low Self Esteem. What a waste of time. Cancel both her toxic shows!!

    Hey Tyra!!! KISS MY SKINNY LITTLE ASS!!!
  24. Anonymous Says:
    Tyra show should be droped. One topic crapfest all about lesbians and socalled bisexual women. One episode she had this hot woman who my lied to her about can't get men. So she had Tyra set her up with another woman. That episode made me not watch this crapfest ever again it's just the other talk shows before her crap.
  25. Anonymous Says:
    Tyra Show Sucks balls shes just trying to be Oprah because there are very few if anyone that hates Oprah so she thinks that she can pull it off
  26. Anonymous Says:
    tyra sucks her show should be cancelled. i used to watch her show until she invited steve harvey and he made a comment about jaslene from top model and that there was another girl on the top model show that could have won. then referred to jaslene as the little puerto rican girl. come on if a black girl was referred to as the little black girl on tyra show tyra would not have stayed so stoned face and yeah she does look ru paul
  27. Anonymous Says:
    I turned on the t.v. today and Tyra's show was on, so I decided to give her a chance. She is not intellectual at all! She has no idea how to form proper sentences and she is so self-absorbed that I doubt she realized she just chewed out the guest. She has no clue what to say, so when something is said that she 'thinks' she knows about, attempts to make it a big deal and then she babbles for about 6-7 minutes.

    If Tyra was not all ready well-known, she would get awful ratings and people wouldn't give this idiot any attention.

    I'm sooo fed up with turning on the boob tube and there she is, opening her mouth and having nothing coming out but hot air.
  28. Anonymous Says:
    tyra is an idiot and anyone who likes that show is an idiot. she is proof that this country is going downhill fast.
  29. Anonymous Says:
    I am so glad that I found a group of people who agree with my thoughts on Tyra. She is a moron and that's the only way I can describe her, even though most television hosts are not all that intelligent Tyra sets the bar to an all time low as the most retarded television host of possibly all time.
  30. Anonymous Says:
    I'm so tired of her talking about how great she is. Everytime a guest makes a comment, she has to make a comment about herself that is either sadder, louder, more depressing etc. She's fake and a snob.
  31. Anonymous Says:
    So.. when is her show going to get cancelled? She does not help women. She looks down on them and feels pitty. Thinks she's so great. Somebody needs to start a petition and write to WB to get her off the air forever. someone said she's successful in everything? Her show is one of the biggest failures in talk show history (rating of 310 out of 17435 in popularity (tv.com). Can't get much lower than that.
  32. Anonymous Says:
    Tyra sucks.

    ELLEN ROCKS.
  33. Anonymous Says:
    i watch Tyra everyday just to see what a fool she makes of herself.  she embarrasses me so bad that i have to change the channel.  i can't help but laugh at her.  she should get her stuff together and get some real guests on her show.
  34. ILOVETYRA Says:
    I WOULDNT BE TALKING U SON OF A FUCKIN BITCH! SHES DONE MORE IN UR LIFE THEN U WILL EVER BE ABLE TO DO! UR JUST JEALOUS OF HER CAUSE SHES FAMOUS AND HAS A LIFE, UNLIKE U! PIECE OF WHITE TRASH! GO HANG YOURSELF!
  35. brihna Says:
    Tyra is just ugly as hell especially with all those pounds of make-up. It's a wonder how she made it to the modeling world. She loves it when those depressed girls come on her stage. It makes her feel better. Her show sucks. She doesn't know what the hell she's talking about and tries to sound like Dr. Phil....
  36. Anonymous Says:
    U GUYS ARE LOSERS AND ARE SO JEALOUS OF TYRA. IDIOTS GO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIVES.
  37. Anonymous Says:
    U GUYS ARE LOSERS AND ARE SO JEALOUS OF TYRA. IDIOTS GO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIVES.
  38. Joshsphilosophy Says:
    Tyra Banks is text book passive aggressive. Every show she's on, she speaks with such a feigned caring manner...but under the sugary tone, she's saying, "I'm a pretensious elitist asshole."
  39. DENNIS Says:
    she's in her 30's an seems to believe she's still a teenager.she needs to get real life and a real effing show!! her show is nothing more than a maury povich,jerry springer format!! and oprah??? don't give me this horsecrap that she actually is any more legitimate!! i get sick of her attempte at keeping us reminded about slavery and where her people have come from/. give it a rest for shit sake!!
  40. Anonymous Says:
    HEY,ilovetyra,get effed bitch!!!

    tyra sucks!!!! and the anonymous poster that says we're jealous...you're a moron,bwa'hahahahaha..teeny bopper..like tyra..30 something that posers as a high school chick via her actions..take off that effing weave and she's eddie murphy
  41. DJTEEL Says:
    one poster said that if she were fake,she wouldn't let people know she's waering a weave..hahahahaha..a retard can see it's a weave u moron!!! she has short nappy hair underneath..she's NOT gorgeous!!!

    without that fricking weave she's a nappy headed...wait..i'm thinking of basketball....
  42. Anonymous Says:
    Tyra Banks is a fucking moron... Social experiments and shit... GET A REAL JOB! Making a huge deal out of everything and acting like the expert that can fix it! Who needs Social Studies graduate programs, psychologists, counselors (or any educated people for that matter) when you have her! She can act like she knows what she's talking about and pointing fingers, enough to make 12-17 year olds believe her...
  43. Kasey Luvs TYRA 4eva Says:
    Look you guys are idiots if you have the time of day to come on and bash one of the most hardworking and nice celebrities there is....whats next? Oprah? She builds schools in Africa but shes a whore.....Didnt think so..actually do something with your lives instead of bashing hardworking people who put their selves out there everyday and who make a living.....something you must be jealous of cuz you have time to sit there and write shit about people...your charcter is wonderful! Call me what you want but i believe tyra to be an inspiration to all people so lay off because if you were in her place im sure you wouldnt want people with no lives yellin shit about you. -Kaseyy
    <3 Tyra Forever
  44. Anonymous Says:
    I hope your girl is an only child lest any male siblings suffer from having such a castrating woman mothering them.
  45. DENNIS Says:
    tyra??? bwa'hahahahahaha...she's an ignorant goof that if ever seen without that weave,would scare the hell out of a sasquatch doll!! typical light colored black girl with a weave..trying desperately to appear as white as possible..can't you see that there's something emotionally wweird about that???
  46. lulu Says:
    I like Tyra, I just think she needs to start talking about other things besides body image and relationships. I mean, there are a whole lot of things that go on in the world today. She should also learn to let her guest talk without interrupting them and talk for 7 minutes and take a break for commercial then introduce a new guest and leave us hanging on the unfinished issue with the former. Tyra I love your personality and image but you have to slow down a bit. I feel like she is all over the place. I would have loved to see more self composure, mystery and listening abilities. I think she can do it. More intriguing guest. Different topics besides models, body image and relationships. Tyra if you are reading this, I think you can make those changes. I am a fan but I am not watching your show as I used too because of all the above.
  47. Anonymous Says:
    Let's see, where do we begin with Tyra Banks. From what I have seen come out of her mouth the few times I have watched her on television, she has stated that she is a "strong" woman, and is a pioneer against sexism and racism. That she is a role model. Well, congratulations Tyra Banks. You have succeeded in perpetuating sexism by appearing half naked on magazines, with your body airbrushed making yourself look computer generated (with your hips narrowed and your breasts enlarged) so all women can hope to look like a computer generated freakish version of you! What an accomplishment in life you have made. And what have you done to fight racism Tyra Banks? Well you have straightened and bleached your hair (or is that a wig?) so straight and blond even Neo Nazis would envy it. You wear carefully stenciled zebra pancake makeup every time you make a public appearance until you end up looking like you're wearing a rubber mask. But of course everyone knows who you are and you make a lot of money and that means you are a success. You should feel great! Now, besides just your physical appearance, let's get to your deeply insightful and always informative television programs. First, let's start with America's Next Top Model. Now I know your number one concern in life is the self-esteem of women. Well the few times I could bear to watch the show you have succeeded marvelously at increasing women's self esteem. You stated one woman could actually become a model "even with the nose". Now, like I said, I only watched a few times and I'm sure there were other comments about height, weight, hair, facial features, etc. but that's what you do for a living isn't it! Wow, Tyra Banks you should feel so proud of yourself! Next, let's move on to your other insightful, though no less significant, talk show. What can we say Tyra Banks. Having women dance in front of men like strippers and then listen to what the men think of them physically as the women in your audience hang on to every word like the men are God - of course, that doesn't include the constant superficiality that pervades every epidode. Oh yes, Tyra Banks, you are making great strides against sexism in America. What a wonderful role model you are! And once again Tyra, as I have already stated since you have a lot of money and you happen to be on television you are successful indeed. No, not people who volunteer at homeless shelters, or doctors or nurses who save people lives, or social workers. No they are not successful. You are Tyra Banks. Congratulations!
  48. Anonymous Says:
    I hate Tyra! My boyfriend finds her vile. I saw this episode of a pregnant prostitute and her bitch'ness put her down and berated her and did not one thing to help her. Tyra disgusts me! I will never watch her piece of crap show again.
  49. murph Says:
    She is the worst of hypocrites on tv right now. She has a talk show where she encourages teen girls to all feel like they are beautiful, no matter what they look like, and at the same time, is the creator and host of a modeling show, that makes young girls distress about the issues that she says she tries to help. Dont we say these days, that it is the infatuation between teen girls and models, that have sparked so many disorders and false realties? thats just one thing....
    How about the sex shows? Anyone who comes on the show with a normal to above normal sex drive, she insists that "something must have happened when they were young" every time. And she does many shows on sex,yet, an actual quote from this woman is, "after seven minutes, im like, get off!".
    wow, you really must be the person to tell others how to run their sex life, yeah, right. I hope people can see the smugness thats seems to ooze out of this woman. TYRA BANKS GET OFF THE AIR!
  50. Anonymous Says:
    Tyra Banks show serve no purpose for Television.I already knew she was going to talk about her mom,modeling,breast,dimple in her booty.A intelligent person would know not too talk about non-sense things.What about important things in life.I got mad she had those kids on the show telling the world there business.My child wouldn't have been on the show.I remember she talking about how she took a shower and her mom made her open her legs because she had some nasty stuff down there.Then another comment she said I don't take shower on my off day until I fell like it.I don't care nothing about that.
  51. Anonymous Says:
    This woman gives awful advice, but acts like she knows what is right. Horrible show.
  52. FBI Says:
    Hot mess of a show. Tyra tells at least 2 lies on every episode. notice that she always creates stories similar to those of her guest to gain their confidence and fabricate a sense of empathy. am sick and tired of her lying ALL the time. yeah, shes had a friend who dated her boyfriend, her fell for her friends boyfriend, she had a friend who couldnt keep a secret, she used to check her boyfriends facebook page obsessively, shes a nose poker, shes had a colonix, etc etc etc. the list is endless. think of all her shows and how she has tried to empathize with her guest by fabricating the exact same history that they have.
  53. Anonymous Says:
    I use to like watching The Tyra Banks show, but as I watched more and more of the show, I have also noticed myself that she is very, very judgemental. Especially when it comes to things she does not understand. No, not every sex worker is has been raped or ashamed of their profession. I think she tries to be something she is not and is very far removed from the African American community. Yes, she does suck!!
  54. Anonymous Says:
    HAHAHA, I love your parody! so true!
  55. Anonymous Says:
    Most of the comments here are so naive.
    Why are you personally attacking the woman? Self-absorbed? Judgemental? She is selling her reputation for money. Period.
    She is producing a crapfest of a show because she can't get money for a better one. How much does an Oprah episode cost to make?
    She has to be judgemental in order to get a freak show reaction out of whatever ignorant audience she can attract. Since younger people are the easiest to please, she is trying to spin it as a role model concept. So she is going to exploit and milk that audience and make some cash. Bad morals. yes. Judgemental and self-absorbed? P-l-e-a-s-e..it's all a game.
    Not bad for an uneducated person who started off as a piece of meat.
  56. Anonymous Says:
    In a perfect world Tyra would get breast cancer and die.
  57. Anonymous Says:
    All you stupid people out there who go " Tyra Banks is so beautiful and such a great role model" I think you that you should get your sanity checked. All she does is make fun of her guests or make up incredibly fake stories about how she went through so many hardships in her life and how she crawled her way to the top... Tyra Banks does suck and should stop claiming to be a good role model. My aim in life is to be the complete opposite of her personality wise. Tyra Banks I hope you choke on your own weave and die!