Peace On That

President Bush is going to address the nation tonight on the importance of staying the course in Iraq. As interesting and entertaining as his speech might be, I would like to save you the time so that you may spend your summer evening playing catch with the kids in the backyard or sitting on the patio listening to crickets chatter.

Although I am not privy to the inner workings of the White House, I’m sure I know exactly what the speech will entail. If you’ve notice, Condi is all over the tubes these days. Her words are the prevailing winds to the snow job the President is about to deliver tonight. Although many words will be said, you have to listen for the catch phrases that make up every talking points bulletin of the neo-cons. It is the catch phrases that are important because that is what the news media will use to inundate us with over the next couple of days. So pay no attention to the speech tonight because I can give you the entire list of catch phrases here and you can throw in your own words around them. And I guarantee that whatever you come up with will not be much different that what is said tonight.

1. Good evening my fellow Americans… blah, blah, blah,
2. September 11 changed the world... blah, blah, blah
3. Iraq was threat and I took action… blah, blah, blah,
4. Regime change… blah, blah, blah
5. Insurgents are testing our will, but our resolve is strong… blah, blah, blah
6. We must stay the course… blah, blah, blah
7. Freedom is on the march… blah, blah, blah
8. Spread democracy… blah, blah, blah
9. Our brave men and women… blah, blah, blah
10. I recently spoke to (insert sympathetic story here)
11. Must understand that we are making great progress (here is where he will run down his laundry list of good things happening)
12. My job is to lead… blah, blah, blah
13. With our friends and allies… blah, blah, blah
14. We didn’t ask for this fight… blah, blah blah
15. The American people are (insert whatever praise you want here)
16. Good night and God bless America.